By Guest Blogger Shawna Toth
Guilt: The state of one who has committed an offense especially consciously OR Feelings of culpability especially for imagined offenses or from a sense of inadequacy.
Mommy Guilt: A Mother’s state of mind about doing anything that does not directly and immediately benefit their children.
Recently, a Mom friend of mine confided in me that when she had her first child, she did not feel any guilt at all…UNTIL one day another Mom asked her if she ever feels guilty about doing things for herself. “I do now,” she replied. Another Mom friend of mine told me that she felt guilty laying her baby down for a nap, because then she would be finally getting a break. I am sure she used that time to slovenly wash dishes or fold laundry or, god forbid, shower. No wonder she felt guilty. Seriously, even if what she did was go directly to her bed and lay there still and silent until her child awoke, should she not be able to do so guilt free? Don’t we, as Moms, deserve a break?
These conversations got me thinking about the Mommy Guilt that we all seem to accept as inevitable. Do I feel Mommy Guilt? You bet I do! There are, of course, the big ones I have mulled over. When our twin sons were 4 months old, I went back to work. At the time I did not feel guilty, because I was pretty sure they were better off in the caring hands of professionals, but a year or two later, guilt set in that I still grapple with occasionally, even though I know I made the best choice for our family at the time.