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Posts Tagged ‘toxic friendship’

The Trick of Boundaries and Rules with our Daughters

Monday, October 18th, 2010

By Guest Blogger  Susan Shapiro Barash

Susan with her two daughters, Jennie and Elizabeth

As I listened to the voices of a variety of mothers this past year and investigated why mothering daughters today seems more arduous, more difficult than ever, I couldn’t help but think of my own daughters and the pitfalls and rewards of raising them.  As they grew up – today they are 23 and 30– I often struggled with the ‘right’ answers to their requests.

Should I have allowed a curfew that made me worry for hours, just because my older daughter, at 15 pleaded with me and claimed that “all” her friends had the same late curfew?  Should I have said no when she wanted her ears pierced at eight, which felt too young and somehow not appropriate? Not only did I say yes to this, but when my younger daughter wanted her ears pierced at seven, I agreed, figuring that this daughter was immersed in a much slicker, faster world than her big sister, seven years older, had experienced.

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The Dark Side of Friendship

Wednesday, January 13th, 2010

There are tall ships
There are small ships
But the best ships
Are friendships…

Unless of course, when the friend takes her life frustrations out on you, dumps her baggage all over you, and acts aggressively towards you.

Yes, this Blog post is about the dark side of friendship. Reason being– you asked for it.

To be honest, I have not had too many toxic friendships over the years. I was never one of those bitchy girls either. I was raised to talk to everyone and I always had friends in many circles. I never liked cliques. But many of you have written in about the friends you’ve dropped, dumped and severed ties with.

One mom wrote in about her best friend’s daughter taunting  her own daughter and belittling her on Facebook. Ew! Another woman wrote in about her long time friend who was in a bad marriage, and out of jealousy, was gossiping and badmouthing her behind her back. Disgusting! These toxic friendships are unsupportive, draining, unrewarding and can be suffocating. Toxic friends stress you out and are generally one sided, whereby you don’t get back nearly half as much as you put in.

toxic friend

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