As I get ready to celebrate my 12th wedding anniversary and 17th year with my husband on Monday August 13th, I reflect back upon why we’ve worked so well. In a way, we have done all the wrong things – we have gone to bed angry before (contrary to what is suggested couples do), we have used hurtful words in heated moments, and have rehashed issues long after they were dead.
Sounds like a recipe for UNsuccess. But that could not be further from the truth. What has kept us happily together for almost 20 years, (and I am only 37, WOW), is a deep mutual love, commitment, friendship (and okay, great sex). When I’m not contemplating murder (yup, it happens), I can honestly say I adore the man I wake up next to every morning. He knows me like no one in this world. He comforts me in my darkest hour. He’s my #1 go-to person in this world. And he keeps our family unit together.
I recently read an article in the New York Times, and it stated that if you want marriage advice, don’t ask someone who’s been together 20 years like us– ask a divorced person. Divorced people often have big regrets, and when asked what went wrong, they all speak of similar mistakes. Mistakes which they say they will avoid the next time around.