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Posts Tagged ‘Infidelity’

Behind Closed Doors: I Married a Sex Addict

Tuesday, January 31st, 2012

While I realize that not everyone is facing this issue, and while the topic may not have the usual “mass appeal,” it is quietly going on behind closed doors in many homes around the world. Today, I wanted to crush the shame, and help those who might be suffering.

Erica

By Guest Blogger Paldrom Collins

When I first met the man who is now my husband and he told me that his work was counseling men with sexual addiction, I remember clearly the feeling of wanting to stick my fingers in my ears while loudly shouting “la-la-la-la.” That was quickly followed by the immediate conclusion that this man was not someone I would want to talk with ever again. But life as a jokester led me to want to get to know this man, even with a career that was initially oh-so-embarrassing to hear about. And it didn’t end there. I soon learned that not only did George counsel sex addicts; he was a recovering sex addict himself.

Sexual addiction is a compulsive sexual behavior that dominates an addict’s life, taking priority over work, friends, and even family.

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Weinergate and Cybercheating

Friday, June 10th, 2011

I really wanted to blog about the current events surrounding Congressman Anthony Weiner. Yes, THAT Weiner who showed HIS Wiener on Twitter and then lied about it. But then I reconnected with one of our amazing previous Guest Bloggers, Kiri Blakeley, who has been covering all things Weinergate. And I think she did a better job than me.

I really wanted to pose this question to you: IS SEXTING AND CYBERSEXING WITHOUT PHYSICAL CONTACT, ACTUALLY CHEATING?

By Guest Blogger Kiri Blakeley

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The State of Marriage and Divorce

Friday, May 20th, 2011

By Our Anonymous Man On The Fence

In wake of the recent Arnold and Maria saga, now would be a good time to talk about marriage and divorce.  I was speaking to my mother last week, who explained that back in the day, she was actually the first of her peer group to get divorced. As was not considered the norm then, theirs was a nasty divorce. Five years of fighting, senseless amounts of money given to lawyers, and an ever lasting blemish in the memories of my childhood as well as my siblings. As for my grandparents, it was sacrilegious to get divorced and they very much frowned upon it.

Most often, the modern excuse today for staying in an unhappy marriage is “for the sake of the kids. “ I am living proof, that that logic is absolutely absurd. I can attest to this fact from my parents’ divorce and of course my own. You ought to stay married because you continue to love and care for one another, albeit in an ever evolving and growing way.

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Runaway Husbands

Friday, September 17th, 2010

By Guest Blogger Vikki Stark

vikki

The fall of 2006 should have been one of the happiest times of my life. My first book, My Sister, My Self, had just been published and I’d just completed a book tour speaking at bookstores and community centers across the United States about sister relationships, the subject of my book. Planning the trip, I’d envisioned how great it would be out there driving the open road alone, listening to local radio stations and getting the chance to talk with dozens of women about a topic dear to their hearts. Although the reality of driving three thousand miles across America proved to be much more challenging than I’d expected, at least I had backup. During our nightly phone calls, my husband of twenty-one years was cheering me on, telling me how proud he was, always encouraging me.

After three sometimes very lonely weeks on the road, I took the red-eye back east from California, stumbled off the plane and fell into my husband’s arms in tears. I was so relieved to be home, so happy to see him. There was only one more event on the book tour later that week, and it was the one I was most eagerly anticipating—my official book launch in Montreal where I live. All my friends were coming (some flying in from New York), as were the press, my colleagues and many of the women who participated in The Sisters Project that formed the basis of my book.  We were expecting close to a hundred people. It was to be my triumphant return—the best day in my life!

Sisters Project

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Closed On Open Marriage

Friday, April 23rd, 2010

So, truth is,  I have been on the lookout for a woman, who exists in my head, who would be in a loving, committed and happy marriage, to her soul-mate, but who doesn’t have exclusive sex with her husband. And he’s cool with it. And he does it too. I figured, there has to be a “normal” woman somewhere in the world, who could live in the ‘burbs, pretty house with the picket fence, the kids, but has sex outside the marriage and doesn’t get in trouble! But, so far, no woman has come knocking on my door, so I wanted to share something I found.

open marriage

Well first, what is an open marriage by definition? Here it is out of the dictionary: (more…)

A Secretive Spouse

Tuesday, March 23rd, 2010

So we’ve all heard of Sandra Bullock’s motor-head husband Jesse James having some sexy times with a girl nicknamed “Bombshell,” while Ms. Bullock was off filming The Blind Side. I guess with this guy, “when the cat’s away, the mouse will play.” And what about Sam Mendez, husband to the beautiful Kate Winslet? He’s rumored to have also cheated. And we all know about the famous, Mr. Tiger Woods. I’m glad to see you’ve put your Buddhist bracelet back on… maybe it will remind you to keep your pecker in your pants!

cheating spouse

Oh, the secretive spouse. The cheating spouse:  Don’t people take their marriage vows seriously anymore? Now I realize, over time, wear and tear on a relationship can take its toll. Marriage isn’t blissful every day. It takes hard work and commitment to keep the passion alive. But I’d sooner leave than cheat. I truly feel that way. If I was unhappily married and felt like I needed something else, I’d leave.  It’s called integrity. There is something disgusting, dirty and wrong about sneaking behind someone’s back and giving in to sinful pleasures in secrecy. I’m not saying it’s not exciting or euphoric for the person doing it. I’m just saying it’s wrong. So you know, studies have shown that having an affair can give you a high equivalent to that of an illicit drug. I spoke to a woman cheating on her husband, and she said the high derived from cheating was a high too great to give up, so she snuck around in secrecy and kept it going. The daily grind, life, kids, monotony of the routine, exhaustion, financial pressures, they’re all realities many couples are facing today. And I truly can understand how affairs can happen. But, it’s during the difficult moments where as a couple, you must reconnect with your spouse and find the joy, rather than seek happiness elsewhere. Even if it may seem like the tougher route.

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Elizabeth Edwards, A Woman Off The Fence

Friday, January 29th, 2010

Many of you have asked my opinion on this week’s announcement that cancer-stricken Elizabeth Edwards has left her husband, former presidential candidate John Edwards. I covered this story before, as I found it fascinating why some women choose to stay after infidelity.

Elizabeth and John Edwards

The big “fence” question I asked in Blog Post Elizabeth Edwards, A Woman On The Fence, one that high profile women like Hillary Clinton and Governor Eliot Spitzer’s wife also faced, was

“Why stay in the marriage? Personally, I feel they stayed for many reasons. But, I can only imagine the incredible pull in two directions. To stay with a man who had shared his bed with another woman time and time again,  or leave and lose your marriage, and your power and status that has come as a result of being this power couple.

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