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Posts Tagged ‘how to be a good mother’

Are You A Sh*tty Mom? You’re Not Alone

Friday, September 7th, 2012

By Guest Blogger Karen Moline

Just as every mom has the moment she first laid eyes on her child indelibly tattooed on her cortex—you know, the part of your brain that, soon thereafter, spurts out Ohmigod it must be the plague the first time your baby gets a rash, or Ohmigod I can’t believe my precious little sweetheart just belted that kid in the kisser before you’ve even had a chance to open your mouth to deny it. Every mom remembers her first totally, irredeemably, irrefutably Sh*tty Mom Moment.

Mine came when my ‘every-day-is-Halloween’ son was about three, and deeply entrenched in his Cruella De Vil and 101 Dalmatians phase. His aunt got him a Dalmatian-print bathrobe and I scored a replica of Cruella’s little handbag from the Disney Store, and we went to the local costume emporium for a long cigarette holder to complete the look. My son instantly spied the fake cigarettes hanging between the plastic puke and whoopee cushions. “Look, Mommy!” he shouted. “You have to get them for me. Please, please, pul-eeze! Cruella is always smoking! I neeeeeed them!”

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The Trick of Boundaries and Rules with our Daughters

Monday, October 18th, 2010

By Guest Blogger  Susan Shapiro Barash

Susan with her two daughters, Jennie and Elizabeth

As I listened to the voices of a variety of mothers this past year and investigated why mothering daughters today seems more arduous, more difficult than ever, I couldn’t help but think of my own daughters and the pitfalls and rewards of raising them.  As they grew up – today they are 23 and 30– I often struggled with the ‘right’ answers to their requests.

Should I have allowed a curfew that made me worry for hours, just because my older daughter, at 15 pleaded with me and claimed that “all” her friends had the same late curfew?  Should I have said no when she wanted her ears pierced at eight, which felt too young and somehow not appropriate? Not only did I say yes to this, but when my younger daughter wanted her ears pierced at seven, I agreed, figuring that this daughter was immersed in a much slicker, faster world than her big sister, seven years older, had experienced.

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