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Posts Tagged ‘choices’

The Power of Forgiveness and The Cancer of Holding a Grudge

Tuesday, August 28th, 2012

By Guest Blogger Marala Scott

“Forgiveness is powerful and hate is too, but one heals and the other destroys. Determine what end you want to be on because they both affect your life and that of others. Lessen the burden on your spirit by carrying less anger and more love instead. Don’t hold yourself hostage to what impedes your growth. –Marala Scott

You may think that it’s easier to walk through life and blame others for your inability to forgive, because it allows you to have a constant source for your mistrust, anger, and hatred. On the contrary– what you’re doing is allowing the source of your pain to keep unhealthy turmoil churning inside of you that will only impede your healthy progression through life. It will keep every negative emotion ready to ignite or cause you to crumble and retreat passively at the thought of what occurred in your past. I’m speaking to you from experience, having been there myself for many years.

I can’t say that I had a healthy childhood or one even close to being normal, but what I can tell you is that all of the horrific and unimaginable things I had to endure, did nothing more than cultivate anger. My soul had so much pain taking root inside of me that it began growing stronger as the abuse in our house cut through me with the incessant grip of hatred.

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Wordless Wednesday: The Giving Basket

Tuesday, September 6th, 2011

Right now, I am working the Ford of assembly lines. You see, I am co-chairing an event next week, called Choices, that gathers 800 women strong. It’s an evening where 800 Montreal women assemble in one room, to be together, to talk, to eat, and to listen to an inspirational woman speak about her life Choices, and how those choices have impacted who she is today.

Last year we were blessed with the trailblazing Marlee Matlin. This year will be just as fabulous.

But back to assembly lines… Instead of flower centerpieces that look very beautiful, but can be wasteful at the end of the evening, we are creating “The Giving Basket.” On the center of each table, will be a beautiful basket filled with products ready to be donated to families in need. What a brilliant concept.

So today I work proudly to assemble the most beautiful centerpieces ever. I thank the donors and ‘givers’ who helped make our “Giving Basket” so special and plentiful. And I thank all the volunteers who came out today, and helped make a difference. Sometimes giving of ourselves can be difficult- giving of our time, of our resources, of our money. But no act of giving is too small. You just might change someone’s life.

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Lessons From Marlee Matlin

Wednesday, September 15th, 2010

My evening last night didn’t quite start out on the right note. In fact, I called my friend, a subscriber to this Blog, and told her, “I’ve just left my house with World War 2 going on.” I had to leave at 6:30pm to attend a charity event, and put my hubby in charge of finishing up dinner, homework and bath. As I was leaving, my 3 year old was running around naked, my big son was twirling the food around in his plate, and there was just enormous chaos during that bewitching hour. Oh the bewitching hour! In fact, had I not been going to a place where alcohol was to be served, I would have drank at home. No doubt. Just one of those days… And when he said to me, “How come the homework isn’t done, and you left everything for me,” I smiled at him and lovingly said, “Honey, figure it out.” And he did… cuz all men figure it out when they HAVE to. ;)

Anyhow, I made it to the hotel, which was hosting the charity event for Jewish women in my community… 800 women to be exact! And as soon as I saw my friends and had my one glass of wine, I started to relax and enjoy myself. Nothing like a room full of dynamic women, and chatting with old friends to lift your spirits. The event is called Choices, and it’s to raise money for a cause that I have supported for many many years. Why I love this event, is because there is always an incredible female keynote speaker who discusses tough choices she has had to make in her life. It is always an inspiring evening. Last night was no exception. This year… the magnificent Marlee Matlin, actress, deaf since the age of 18 months, and the youngest woman to win an academy award in a leading role (which she won at age 21).

marlee matlin

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The One Thought That Could Change Your Life

Thursday, April 15th, 2010

“You are always only one choice away from changing your life.” –Mary Blochowiak

I came across this quote yesterday in an email and I have to say, it has changed me. Just imagine. Think about this concept. You are one choice away from changing your entire life’s direction. ONE CHOICE. If you reflect upon your life, you’ve come to where you are through a series of choices, no doubt. But each one of our long and windy paths started with one choice. A single choice. And if this concept seems too abstract, let me give you an example very apropos to this week…. You are on a business trip, sitting at the bar in a strange country. A man propositions you to go up to his room. Your answer at that moment, that yes or no, that ONE CHOICE, could change your life.

change your life

So, now that you see the power of one choice, what would your life-changing choice be? Think then about how in control you are of your life. Powerful stuff. So what this means in essence, is one choice, just one, can change your life forever. Your life up until today is a result of a series of choices you have made. But the person you will be tomorrow, is still up to you, in your hands. With NEW CHOICES, you can actually change your path, change your direction. And you can do that today, April 15th, 2010.  How incredibly encouraging. How hopeful and optimistic for the future, regardless of where you’ve come from. That means that should you be a struggling alcoholic for the past 25 years, your one decision today to stop drinking, could change your entire path. (more…)

Forgiveness and Why You Shouldn’t Hold A Grudge

Tuesday, November 17th, 2009

“What they did was unforgivable”….. “They have to apologize first” ….. “They ruined my life”……

Do any of these statements sound familiar as words you’ve once uttered?   My blog today is about the power of forgiveness, a force so strong that it will release the negative energy that weighs you down and leave you feeling lighter and freer.  Forgiveness is one of the best gifts that you can give yourself and I am going to explain to you why.

Firstly, I would like to say that this Blog post came to be after receiving numerous emails asking me to cover forgiveness and grudge holding. Can we forgive someone who did something so terrible to us, and should we then continue to hold a grudge?   My degree is in psychology, but I am no psychologist,  so I interviewed a professional to help deliver the proper message to you ladies.

Juan Ruiz Jr. & Johanna Orozco

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Parenting – Keeping Your Cool and Then Some…

Monday, October 12th, 2009

Calling out all mothers!! Although, I have to say, even if you’re not a mom yet nor even thinking about it (wow, you’re smart… just joking!!), this has gotta sound entertaining.

As mothers, we wear many hats depending on the day, the situation, or simply, our moods. Parent, friend, disciplinarian, good cop, bad cop, nice mom, mean mom, and the list goes on. Depending on the age of your children, you may be going through any number of issues during any given time.

I have two boys, age six and almost three. I have to simply laugh when I think about myself as a parent. In the marriage, I would say I am more the disciplinarian. So, on a school night, when I’m trying to put my grade one boy to bed, and it’s 8PM, and he’s still playing Wii, WITH MY HUSBAND, I start to get riled up, to the say the least. Isn’t my husband supposed to be on my side? Aren’t we as a team, supposed to say, “Now, ‘Johnny,’ it’s bedtime. Shut that thing off ASAP.” I hear my pitch raising, my voice cracking, I’m starting to lose it! In fact, Wii during the week was never even supposed to be an option!! It’s my husband who’s hooked, and needs a playing partner!!

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Sometimes Straying From the Path Ain’t So Bad After All!

Thursday, October 1st, 2009

By Guest Blogger Kelly Duffy

“When you go through life, so sure of where you’re headin’, and you wind up lost, it’s the best thing that could have happened”

-Brad Paisley, “Find Your Self”

You may find this odd, but I wasn’t really a Brad Paisley fan until this morning. I found myself returning from the two hour marathon that is the morning drop off ritual (the two older to one school, the little guy to pre-school) and listening to the closing credits for Pixar’s’ “Cars”. Despite the fact that I’ve seen this movie close to a thousand times the song I quoted previously really jumped out at me. As a matter of fact the lesson of the entire film hit me powerfully right between the eyes. Who among us hasn’t veered off course because of detour signs somewhere in life?

One of the things I miss the most in life (besides a firm backside and my natural hair color) is the crystal clear vision I had of what I wanted for myself in the future. I was rock steady, unshakable in my convictions.  It was almost as if it was predetermined and nothing could get in the way. There was no self doubt, I was positively fearless. I can picture that young gal with her Pollyannish bravado just waiting to jump out into the world with her equally enthusiastic friends. “Here we go!” they all shout, knowing that with hard work and determination they would all arrive at their destination.

Cut to twenty years later and take a look at how many of us stuck to the original plan. Some of us are close, several are right on the mark, and most of us aimed high but didn’t hit the target. Let me preface this by letting you know that most of the women I spoke to were very honest about what they really wanted deep in their hearts. Even if that wish were as kooky as wanting to be a fairy princess, I let them run with it. How far away from the prize did we find ourselves? Let’s see.

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