Please note Dear ED is not Dear Erica Diamond. It is a letter written by Marci Warharf-Nadler to her eating disorder. In writing this letter seven years ago, Marci was finally closing a chapter in her life– letting go of a destructive past. Marci was kind enough to share this candid letter with us, in hopes of shedding light on the destruction of eating disorders. In sharing this letter, she also shows us the raw process of letting go of belief systems that no longer serve us, and how writing can be a cathartic process to overcome suffering.
In Marci’s words (to clarify below): Billy was my older brother who died when he was 21 and I was 17. (My father left when I was 10 years old, so Billy became the male role model in my life and I adored him). My mother died from breast cancer when she was 56. My mom and I were insanely close and she died while I was pregnant with my first born. I got sick in 2000 with an illness that confused my doctors and nearly killed me. I had one son at home (Dylan, 16 months old) and I was 5 1/2 months pregnant with my second son (Jackson), who couldn’t handle what was going on in my body and didn’t survive. (FYI, I did get pregnant again and had my youngest son Logan, a year later. Both my boys know about the brother they had but lost).