If this doesn’t make you stop, pause, and reassess your priorities and journey on this earth, I’m not sure what will.

I’d love your thought

xoxEDxox

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“Christmas is over, you’ve put on weight, it’s cold out, it’s dark out, your credit card bills are in, you’re not going to get another day off until March, and you’re tired.

You might even be depressed.

If so, you are not alone, especially not today. For today, according to one measure, is Blue Monday, the most depressing day of the year.” (Montreal Gazette)

Yes, that was the headline in today’s Montreal Gazette.

Sounds pretty gloomy. But for many, it truly is. For some, this January funk is a result of cold weather, overspending during the holidays, the state of the economy, a relationship gone sour, or job dissatisfaction. For others, it’s something more serious.

But today, no matter where you’re at, I wanted to give you 10 power tips on beating the winter blues. Ten power tips to get you out of the January funk. Ten suggestions you can do NOW, to give yourself some relief.

1. Make some great delicious homemade soup and feed it to your girlfriends, boyfriends, hubbies and kids. There’s nothing like a great bowl of soup on a cold and gloomy day. I enjoy following recipes from Dave Lieberman of The Food Network. He came to cook for a large group of women at a charity luncheon a few years ago, and I really loved his style- healthy and simple. Here’s a great recipe for one of my favorite soups, Butternut Squash. Here is Lieberman’s version, Butternut Squash Pear. Yum! http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/dave-lieberman/butternut-squash-and-pear-soup-recipe/index.html

2. Diet has a major effect on mood. Studies have also connected depression with low levels of folic acid. So, if you’re not getting it from diet, possibly consider taking a supplement. If you want to supplement the folic acid in your diet, eat at least 2-3 meals of cold-water fish a week, some egg yolks, nuts, almonds, sweet potatoes, dark green leafy vegetables such as spinach and broccoli, and bananas, oranges and peaches.

3. Get some extra natural help. If you’re like me, and hate drugs, you might try the natural route. Vitamin D and B12 supplements are great immune system and mood boosters. You know that you get vitamin D from sunlight, so try and get outside when you can. If not, a supplement in winter months is very helpful. Both hubby and I are on a multivitamin (400IU of D), plus an extra supplement of 500IU Vitamin D to fight colds and flues. And Complex B12 is a great help in elevating mood. These vitamins are cheap and natural. Try ‘em (after speaking to your doctor or pharmacist). You’ve got nothing to lose.

4. Buy a Full Spectrum Lamp. Studies show that people’s mood elevate simply by being in or around full spectrum light. Just by putting your desk near a window, you’re helping yourself during the long dark winter months. And get outside! For a walk, to the park, for a jog, for a stroll with a coffee. I love the rosy cheeks I get from being outdoors. You can’t buy blush that good!

5. Seriously, go see a funny movie! I can’t tell you all the studies that examine the correlation between laughter and health. Laughter is great for many facets of your body. Google it. But, there’s nothing like a great laugh deep in your gut to relax yourself. Make a date with your partner or friend to go see a funny movie today.

6. Pamper yourself. While this can be expensive, and may seem somewhat superficial, it works ladies. Sometimes we simply need to put ourselves back on our own “to-do” lists. Treating yourself to that mani-pedi, or massage, coupled with some soothing tea, and a great magazine is seriously relaxing. I’m not saying it’s a cure to the funky rut, but sometimes, it helps chill us out a little.

7. Reconnect with friends. There is nothing like a great time with your girlfriends to nourish your soul. We get certain things from our girlfriends that our spouses and partners aren’t always able to give us. I always feel rejuvenated after my girls dinners. We laugh, we chat, we vent. It’s like a free therapy session!

9. Ask yourself,  is it a funk or just fatigue? Sometimes we confuse the two.  Sometimes we feel like we are in rut, when really, we are just sleep deprived and exhausted. On the weekends, or whenever you can, it is imperative that you RELAX and allow for downtime, possibly to read, take a bath or simply do nothing.

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By Guest Blogger Judy Belmont

Stress just seems to keep on increasing in modern life. And there is evidence for that! According to a study done by the American Psychological Association, at least one third of Americans report that they are living with extreme stress, and about half of Americans think life keeps on getting more stressful.  Despite modern conveniences and the technological advances we enjoy, stress just keeps on looming larger in our lives. Money and work are cited as the top leading causes of stress, which is not surprising in our uncertain and challenging economy.

So wow do we thrive in the face of our life stresses and not just survive them?

We need to develop the right mindset regarding stress.  Most of our stress does not come from outside of ourselves, but rather it is our interpretation and our take on things that determines our stress.  So if you think that traffic stresses you out, or your co-worker drives you crazy, THINK AGAIN. Traffic or your co-worker only have the power because you give them the power.  It is impossible for them to directly “stress you out” and change the neurons in your head, as it is really your attitude towards them that causes your stress.

With that in mind, most of our stress originates between our ears, and the good news is we have more power to control our stress than we realize!

Sometimes it helps to use analogies to better appreciate life’s dilemmas, and what is a better analogy to our lives than Swiss Cheese, with all its holes? Like the Swiss, our lives have inevitable holes and imperfections, but it is these challenges that enrich our lives and gives us character and depth.

We can develop a handle on our stresses by learning six life lessons that the Swiss can teach us:

1. Swiss Cheese has holes, and so does our lives: Without the holes, there would be no Swiss as we know it, and without the stresses, disappointments and setbacks, our lives would not be uniquely ours.  Interestingly enough, it is a fact that the bigger the holes of the Swiss, the sweeter and more distinctive the cheese. What an analogy to our lives! We develop resiliency by overcoming challenges and obstacles. By moving through life’s holes rather than getting stuck in them, we become stronger.  It might be nice is life was more smooth and predictable like Cream Cheese or American, but life is not like that!

2. The holes in the cheese are called eyes: The fact that the holes of the cheese are called eyes makes for a great analogy to our understanding of stress. It is the holes in our lives that allow us to see more clearly and develop insight. If we did not have the holes in our lives, we would not have the opportunity to develop a deeper understanding of ourselves as we emerge through life’s stresses and obstacles.  Would you really want to be like the cheese with no eyes? I would think not, especially in light of the fact that Swiss Cheese with no eyes (or holes) is called “Blind Swiss“ otherwise known as ”cheese in denial!”

3. We accept the Swiss as it is: We do not judge that the Swiss has too many holes or not enough, and we accept the Swiss just as it is.  Likewise, if we accept life as having inevitable holes, then we will not judge it or wish it away.  We will embrace what happens with the confidence that we can handle what comes our way.

4. There is a positive side to the holes: The holes in the cheese make the cheese lighter, less caloric, and more distinctive.  The holes are not and neither are the stresses in our lives.  Much of our stress is actually positive and we keep on wanting more!  Our body might not know that the stress we are feeling is positive, and we might still get the butterflies, but the positive side of stress cannot be denied.  Just think of getting married, going on vacation, having a baby, playing in or watching the “big game.” Would we want to give up those life stresses?  As Stress pioneer Hans Selye said, “Stress is the spice of life!”

5.  Fondue can never turn back into a block of cheese: Once the Cheese melts into fondue, it can never go back to be in a cheese wheel. What is done is done.  However, so much stress is caused by ruminations and “woulda coulda shouldas” which cannot be changed, causing undue stress on countless people. Give up the habit of looking back with regret. When you focus too much on the past and what can’t be changed, you get stuck in a hole!  There are no do-overs in life, but if you learn lessons from the past you can build on your regrets and have a second chance!

6.  There is no such thing as a perfect slice of cheese: No two slices of cheese are alike, and you too are unique.  Striving for perfection brings on undue negative stress, and brings about low self esteem and is a set up for a personal sense of failure.  Accept yourself as you do the cheese with all its ”holes,” and build on your failures and setbacks instead of being defined by them.  Strive for goodness, not perfection.

Hopefully, with the Swiss Cheese Theory of Life mindset, you will trade the taste of stress for success, and will not only survive but thrive through life’s holes.

So what are you waiting for? Get off the fence, smile and say CHEESE!

-Judy

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BIO:

Judy Belmont, M.S. is a psychotherapist and mental health/wellness speaker who has spoken before thousands of people nationally on topics of self-improvement and mental health. Her recently released self-help book with co-author Lora Shor, MSW is titled, The Swiss Cheese Theory of Life! How To Get Through The Holes In Your Life Without Getting Stuck In Them!

Visit the Swiss Cheese website to download the first two chapters at www.TheSwissCheeseTheoryOfLife.com

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Ladies, how do YOU cope with stress? Please share your tips!

xoxEDxox

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A lesson in humility and getting off the fence in life.

Thank you Emmanuel.

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By Guest Blogger Malia Jacobson

When my daughter was a year old, I experienced a sleep epiphany. After months of horrific night waking, she finally started clocking twelve solid hours each night. Meanwhile, I continued waking in the wee hours and fighting daytime fatigue at my full-time job. The delicious prize I’d looked forward to savoring—sweet, uninterrupted sleep—was still elusive.

It was 2007, and my interest (obsession may be a better word) with my daughter’s sleep had lead to a role as a moderator of an online sleep forum. From there, after clocking many research hours, I started helping other parents solve their children’s sleep problems. Later, I would go on to publish dozens of articles in national and regional magazines and answer parent questions as the resident sleep expert at ParentingSquad.com. And then finally author a book, “Ready, Set, Sleep: 50 Ways to Help Your Child Sleep, So You Can Sleep Too.”

But back to 2007… With loads of sleep information under my belt, I was able to help my daughter sleep well and coach other parents to do the same. But with my baby sleeping like a champ, I could no longer blame her for my own fatigue and insomnia. I was thrilled that she was sleeping well, but a smidge disappointed to lose my sleep scapegoat. After spending a long and draining year getting my daughter to sleep, confronting my own sleep troubles was the last thing I wanted to do.

As women, we deal with more than our fair share of sleep problems. We battle higher levels of insomnia and nighttime pain than men, and often field a greater share of nighttime parenting. And according to some experts, women actually require more sleep than men (about 20 minutes more per night, says sleep expert Jim Horne, author of Sleepfaring: A Journey Through The Science Of Sleep).

Like most women, I was fully aware of the benefits of getting enough sleep—after all, I was the one who set my daughter’s bedtime and worked hard to make sure she got the rest she needed. But I was all too willing to sacrifice my own slumber in the name of more productivity, time with my husband, or time to myself. When I experienced long bouts of insomnia, I put up with it, telling myself it would pass. I reasoned that everyone felt tired all the time. Feeling exhausted was my badge of honor; it meant I must be a great mom, right?

But my body told a different story. Without the sleep I needed, my health started to suffer. I caught shingles (“Usually people only get this when they’re really run-down,” my doctor noted in a warning tone) and developed hypothyroidism. A few months later, I nearly dozed off behind the wheel while my baby snoozed in her carseat, and the truth hit me like the tree that could have slammed through my windshield: I couldn’t ignore my sleep problems any longer.

My daughter needed a mom who was awake, alert, and happy. She needed me to be a safe driver. And my demanding job as a marketing director meant I needed to be at my best, or at least functioning, each and every day.

Though I’m a still a light sleeper and a night owl, I’m proud to say I sleep eight hours most nights. To get there, I had to lose some long-standing habits. Here are the six things I did to get my sleep habits on track:

1. No more late-night TV: Confronting my poor sleep habits meant I had to face the facts: I just couldn’t catch the 11 p.m. news or a late-night talk show and still feel good in the morning. I set a firm 10 p.m. lights-out time and aimed to be in bed about 30 minutes beforehand to read and unwind.

2. Hello, healthy boundaries: When I made my sleep a priority, I had to work out a fair division of labor with my husband to reduce the pile of chores waiting for me each evening. I also had to set limits with work—that meant shutting off my Blackberry after dinner. YES I DID.

3. Nix late-day caffeine: Over 65 percent of women rely on caffeine to make it through the day, and I was one of them. But half the caffeine in a beverage will still be in your system six hours later, so afternoon caffeine was off-limits for me. I’m a coffee lover, so I switched to decaf after lunch if I was still craving a cup.

4. Couch potato no more: Exercise promotes deep, restful sleep, and helps discharge the workday stress than can keep us awake at night. So I started squeezing in a 30-minute workout in the morning. I felt calmer and more alert all day long, and I was sleepier when it was time to turn in at night.

5. Get out of bed: When you can’t sleep, staying in bed and stewing over your lack of shut-eye can make insomnia worse. If sleep just isn’t happening, get out of bed. Read, take a bath, or do some calming yoga stretches until you feel tired enough to try again.

6. Know when to get help: Habitual night waking that goes on longer than a month can be a sign of psycho-physiological insomnia, a “learned” form of insomnia that rarely goes away on its own. I didn’t try to battle insomnia on my own, and you shouldn’t either if it progresses into something more severe. See a doctor if your sleep troubles last longer than a few weeks.

Remember, as busy women and moms, a good night’s sleep is absolutely your right. The good news is, healthy sleep can be taught and learned. I wish you all, a long, and restful night’s sleep.

Tell us, do YOU suffer from insomnia or sleep issues? What are you doing about it? Do you have any of your own sleep tips you can share with our suffering readers? Also feel free to share your sleep concerns with Malia. She might just help!

xoxEDxox

———————————————————–

BIO:

Malia Jacobson is a nationally published sleep journalist and expert and the creator behind TheWellRestedFamily.com, a new blog devoted to helping busy families sleep better. She is the resident sleep expert at ParentingSquad.com and the author of “Ready, Set, Sleep: 50 Ways to Help Your Child Sleep, So You Can Sleep Too.”

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By Guest Blogger Lia M. Keith

Aviation is in my blood. My family is immersed in it. My mother worked for the 459th Tactical Air Lift Wing from the time I was born until I was almost an adult. My step-father is a pilot for US Airways, my brother, a corporate pilot for a Fortune 100 Company, and my husband and I are Air Traffic Controllers. The aviation community is a like a tribe with its own special language, culture and rituals. When I tell people I am an air traffic controller, most ask me what airport I work at. I’ve given up explaining that I don’t work at an airport at all and that I never even see real life airplanes in my job unless I go out on a break and stare up at the sky.

I was an air traffic controller on duty at the Washington Air Traffic Control Center on September 11, 2001 and will never forget the sense of powerlessness I felt on that tragic day. As someone who tends to try to always be in control, it was a unique perspective into the way your life can change in a moment and the fear that remains after the moment has passed.

Most days, my work is routine. Some days, it can be extremely chaotic.  However, nothing could prepare me for the morning of 9/11.  That day proved to be the most challenging day of my career.

Everyone always remarks about how beautiful the day was, and it was spectacular. It was the first day that the weather wasn’t sticky, hot and humid. It was warm and sunny and just glorious. I was working 6:30am to 2:30pm, and when I got in to work that morning, it was quiet. I walked into the building holding the door open for a construction worker that was working on a project outside the door. That would be the last time I would let someone into the building without careful scrutiny.

As I entered the control room, you could feel the tension; nervous energy was permeating the room. I walked up to the supervisor and he said, “A plane has hit the World Trade Center in New York City and New York Center and New York Tracon are ATC Zero.” ATC Zero means that those facilities are shut down and no planes can go into their airspace. This means the facilities around them have to hold all those flights. We have had to hold airplanes for equipment problems or weather or even for a particular airport when an accident had occurred, but never all the aircraft for two major facilities.

We then got extremely busy holding all aircraft for the New York area due to this aircraft hitting the World Trade Center. Accidentally of course. We thought it was a terrible accident, but were still focused on the aircrafts in the air. When we heard about the second flight, the world knew it was no accident. Our whole team was so shaken, but we couldn’t focus on anything except the safety of all our flights.

Suddenly a controller from the approach control screamed over the lines, “There is a plane headed for the White House! Hold all aircraft!” We scrambled to get aircraft into holding. There was no pandemonium; no delay, no questions, we just performed. All of us were worried about our leaders and our families, but all we focused on was keeping the skies safe.

When the order came to land all aircraft at the nearest airport, we were all stunned. We were going to shut down the entire United States airspace! It was unprecedented! Within minutes I had rerouted all the aircraft in my sector and was sitting in front of an empty scope. My supervisor asked me to look for one final missing aircraft. I searched my radar and found a single primary target heading south eastward toward Washington, DC. A primary target looks like a plus sign on the scope. This target was moving very fast. I labeled the target “HIJACK” and we watched as it progressed across the scope. There was one controller in my area, watching that HIJACK target and working the fighters that were on their way toward it. And then, it finally disappeared.

I took a break and went to call my husband. I was shocked to see only an hour had passed. It had seemed like an eternity. When I got my husband, he had no idea anything had happened, he was busy changing diapers, feeding babies, and getting our daughter ready for afternoon kindergarten. I told him to keep her home and turn on the tv, explaining what had transpired that morning. I was in the cafeteria, the room crowded with controllers watching the television in stunned silence.

We saw the towers start to sway, all those people were inside, people were jumping from the building, all those fire fighters were there trying to save people. God, the horror of it! We all just kept saying “NO! NO! NO!” The buildings came down in a loud, scream of metal and destruction. Then there was the breaking news of the Pentagon and finally the crash in Shanksville. We now knew the fate of that last target on our scopes. I was so distraught, I didn’t know if I could work, then I realized with dismay that there was nothing to work, there were no planes in the sky.

All of us were numb, exhausted, and in disbelief. When I went back into the control room, the supervisor told us they were releasing as many of us as they could and they let me go because I was pregnant. On my way out, I passed SWAT team members with bomb sniffing dogs and knew America now had a brand new reality.

In reflecting on the events of 9/11 and the subsequent years, I feel as though we are a country that has been moving through the five stages of grief for the last decade. My fervent wish is that as we remember this day, on its 10^th anniversary, we as a nation try to move forward, out of grief and into acceptance.

It is hard to reflect and feel that we have made many good choices since then. In fact the recent massacre in Norway offers a good lesson in how better to handle an unspeakable tragedy carried out on its citizens.  Instead we isolated ourselves, went to war, went shopping, overspent, under regulated, and now have nearly bankrupted ourselves. We remain nearly as paralyzed and fearful as we were on September 12, 2001, without the national spirit that resonated in our hearts then.

So how do we move forward?  We have an opportunity to change things by remembering what is right with America and her citizens.

There are five lessons I have learned from the events of September 11, 2001:

1. No matter how much evil there is in the world, there is always more good. Yes, the day began with unspeakable evil, but the day ended in a mobilization of good will, heroism, national pride, and solidarity.
2. Vengeance is not the answer, forgiveness is. When a tragedy happens we need to open our hearts not close them. Forgiving would have freed us from our fear and taught our enemies more about who we are than any war ever could.
3. When love and kinship is offered, it should be accepted. The world mourned with us on that terrible day and held out its hand to us in friendship and communion. We should have had the courage to take it. The world would look a lot different today if we had.
4. Giving up our freedoms and values is never the answer. In our fever to get the answers to the questions about how this could happen and our desires to have it never happen again, we allowed ourselves to be seduced into giving up some of the core values and freedoms we know are sacred.
5. Our problems are never unsolvable if we work together. Things seemed very dark that day. Many of us believe that the America we were is lost forever, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. It is in the times we are tested that we learn what we are made of.  America is an ideal worth preserving. We are an open society; everyone deserves a chance here, we don’t shrink from hard work or adversity. We most definitely don’t stay stuck in the past thinking our best days are over. We find new ways to be better and we invent and create the world of the future. We’re Americans, it’s what we do.

No one can be blamed for mourning. The last decade has been incredibly hard. Many times our trials seemed insurmountable. As we mark this day, let us make a decision, together, that the 20^th anniversary will be a celebration of how much we have overcome and remembrance of the day we decided to turn things around, September 11, 2011.

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BIO: LIA KEITH

Mom, Wife, CEO, Air Traffic Controller, I know…when do I sleep? Not often!

What have been your thoughts and reflections of the past decade since 9/11. Please share them with our community.

xoxEDxox

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When I look at how I manage the everyday juggle and grind, there is one thing that keeps me most grounded through it all. There is one thing, that no matter how stressed I am, or how frazzled I may be, that literally transforms my entire aura.

That’s yoga.

About  11 years ago, I was close to burning out. Literally. I don’t think anyone knew just how close I was. I owned a successful company, sales growing by the quarter. I was named one of the Top 30 Under 30 Entrepreneurs. Top 40 Under 40 Nominee. I graced the cover of multiple business sections in newspapers. I was named a Profit Hot 50 Company- One of Canada’s 50 Emerging Growth Companies- I was the only female CEO on the list. And more. I was newly married. I had no kids.

But the more my company grew, the more I burned out. I wasn’t sleeping at night, and my mind was consumed by the business 24/7.  I started to see a therapist who told me to create a “Worry List” on my nightstand. The Worry List worked as follows: When my thoughts kept me up at night, the idea was to transfer them from my head, onto paper, to worry about them at another time (not during my sacred time, when I deserved to sleep).

She also told me to try something else. Yoga. And so I did. I  hired a private yoga instructor to come to my house twice a week. I did prenatal yoga throughout both my pregnancies. I now do yoga at my gym or at home. And ever since that near burnout, I have never stopped doing yoga.

So, In honor of National Yoga Awareness Month, I wanted to perhaps turn YOU onto yoga. And give you some tips. Yoga could change your life.

If you think you won’t enjoy it, or that it’s not a workout, or that you won’t get toned, or if you think yoga is for freaks, I want to leave you with 5 reasons… WHY YOGA?

1. Simply put… yoga will make you feel better. And not just right after you finish a class or your own practice. This feeling carries you throughout your day. Scientific studies have shown the benefits of yoga on overall health, over and over again. It literally cleanses your organs, and yes, EVEN HELPS HANGOVERS! Yoga has been studied to help cure depression as well. Susan Orem, a yoga teacher in New York City and the owner of the Heathen Hill yoga retreat in the Catskills, says that a brief 20- to 30-minute yoga sequence that includes sun salutations, along with a few good twists and restorative poses, may bring extreme relief. (New York Times).
2. There are many different yoga practices. Try them, and find a practice that you enjoy. I have linked you to different types and styles of yoga- click here. I have yet to try Bikram yoga, or hot yoga, which I am dying to try. The yoga practice I have mostly done for years is called ashtanga yoga, or power yoga. But there are benefits to all the different types.
3. You don’t have to spend lots of money on yoga to re-balance yourself. You can create your own yoga space. All you need is a good yoga mat, a space to call your own, some water, perhaps a nice smelling candle, and a good DVD.  I discovered yoga for stress relief purposes, and a friend of mine who did the same, told me about this yoga DVD for stress relief. But there are a ton on the market, and if you turn on your TV in the early am, chances are, you can catch one live. I find TV yoga quite easy, so if I’m too lazy to go to a yoga class at the gym, I will do the thirty minute TV yoga, and add some harder poses at the end to further challenge myself.
4. Yoga is truly for EVERYONE- young and old. Beside making you feel better, yoga will build your strength and flexibility, and I say it again… decrease stress! Yoga promotes a balance between the mind, body, and spirit FOR ALL WHO PRACTICE IT REGULARLY. And I will be honest, yoga WILL give you a longer, leaner body, and promote better posture (if you combine it with healthy eating). So even if you do yoga as your ‘workout,’ (another reason I did yoga at the beginning), over time, you will feel all those other benefits as well.
5. It takes time, so give it a chance. It WILL feel weird at the beginning. You’re gonna laugh, you’re gonna feel uncomfortable at the beginning. It’s pretty much a guarantee.  You might feel very inflexible and very tight in your muscles and joints. But give it time. It just takes time. Be open.

So Happy National Yoga Awareness Month readers!

As the Buddha says: “There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way, and not starting.”

I’d love to hear if yoga has helped you in any way. Feel free to leave any yoga tips for our readers, or any ways yoga has helped you in your life.

And finally, to the mommies seeing their kids off to school today for the first day of a new grade, I’m sending you all positive vibes.

xoxEDxox

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