By Guest Blogger Brooke Menoni

I used to think I had the life. I was a Fashion Director for a national magazine, had private drivers, hair and spa treatments that were paid for, a closet full of designer shoes, front row seats to New York’s Fashion Week, celebrity filled parties and a pay check to match.

But, although from the outside my life seemed exciting and glamorous, it was filled with anxiety, stress, sleepless nights, and a constant need to prove myself to a group of people I cared little about. I knew deep down that this was not the path I was put on this earth to travel and I continually lived in angst trying to figure it all out.

About two years ago, while pregnant with my daughter and a 10 month old at home, our company announced that, due to the economy, our magazine would cease publication that week. While my counterparts around me cried tears of fear and grief, I felt as if the weight of the world had been lifted off my shoulders.

You see, that very morning, I gave up trying to figure it all out. While walking to work, I prayed to God to clearly show me if this career was what I should be doing. Less than twenty minutes later, I was out of a job by no choice of my own and left to take a new road.

For the next two months I struggled turning down jobs I knew were great opportunities but knowing my heart wasn’t in it. When I searched my soul I knew I simply wanted to be at home loving my son with everything I had but, because I had spent so many years trying to please everyone but myself, I didn’t feel I deserved to do what I wanted to do.

One day while on the phone with my brother he said something that changed my life. He said, “Brooke, you have the rest of your life to work but, you’ll never get this time back with your kids.” At that moment I knew, I could continue working in a field that brought me material, surface satisfaction or, I could do something my heart longed to do and choose to take the path unknown.

I chose to take the path unknown and, two years later, I can honestly say that it is the best decision I have ever made.

It has been a struggle to feel security and love in a job that doesn’t deliver a pay check, there is no potential for bonuses and awards, and rarely gets a pat on the back. But, it has challenged me to look inside myself for inner peace and security instead of depending on outside sources that will never be able to deliver it.

My life no longer includes Prada shoes, perfectly manicured hands, extravagant dinners and being certain of what the next day will hold.

Instead, my life is full of adventure, exploration and discovery.

Finding true joy in the little things,

Realizing that fears I had buried deep inside are not so scary once brought to the surface,

Discovering that life is truly filled with rainbows but you have to brave the storms to find them,

And, being OK with just being us and just being me. Because there’s truly no other way to be.

Do I miss my old, fabulous life? Every once in a while but, then, I’m brought back to reality with giggles. And not just my kids’ giggles but, my own because, although I still have challenging days that make me second guess myself, I know I’m traveling the path I was meant to take all along. And I’m excited to see where it takes me next.

5 tips that have helped me make the transition from career woman to Domestic Multitasker:

1.  Put your oxygen mask on first.

It is one of the most important operational flight rules and with good reason. If Mommy isn’t taken care of, baby won’t be taken care of.

Don’t neglect yourself. I have a standing pedicure appointment with myself every two weeks and my husband knows he’s on daddy duty. It’s an hour away from my family but I come back a happier mommy. I also wake up an hour and a half before my kids so I can be guaranteed a nice, hot shower, an uninterrupted full cup of steaming coffee and time to do something I love most–read.

You might not be a morning person but carve out time for yourself every day even if its just five minutes. (I give you permission to let your kids watch Gabba gang one more time if it allows you a to catch up on your favorite magazine!)

2.  Speak up.

Many friends have said that they envy my husband because he is a very hands-on dad and will take the kids out on weekends so I can have time alone. But, that didn’t just happen because he read my mind, I spoke up for myself and told him my needs. (This also requires a husband that will listen!)

I feel strongly that parenting is a partnership. Our husbands have a requirement to do their part but, we are guilty if we harbor unresolved feelings and don’t speak up for what we need! And part of this is also asking what their needs are and making sure we are doing our part too.

In addition, ask friends for help. My husband and I live many miles from our families so we have to rely on good friends to help us out and it always makes us feel good to return the favor!

3.  Be careful who you surround yourself with.

My friend Suzanne gave me some great advice that was passed along to her. If you are the only one of your friends whose child is not sleeping through the night then you need to get new friends!

Life is too short to be a competition. Mommies need friends who will build them up and be a support system, not make each other feel inadequate.

4.  Stay connected.

Once you do find good friends, stay connected. If we only picked up the phone to call a friend when the kids weren’t screaming, dinner was made or we weren’t feeling frazzled, we’d never call anyone!

Wouldn’t it be nice if your girlfriend called and said, “Hey, I only have two seconds, I really want two minutes to talk but I just didn’t want to let any more time go without saying I’m thinking about you and miss you. OK, gotta run but sending you a big hug and, if I could afford it, lunch and a spa day just for the two of us!”

Makes you smile right? Stay connected not just for your friends but for yourself too. They need it just as much as you do.

5.  We choose our own way.

Just like you, I don’t want to experience pain and misfortune but, without them, we would also never know the real triumphs and joys (a.k.a rainbows) of life.

Through trials, both big and small, I have learned that I have no control over the events that take place in my life but, we all have full control over how we will respond to and learn from them. And, more times than not, that means being a little more creative in our thinking.

–Brooke Menoni

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I’d love to know your thoughts on this topic? Did YOU trade a career in for motherhood? Are you currently a working mom and dreaming about being a stay-at-home mom? How do we figure out the right path for ourselves? What do you do if you are working out of necessity and not choice? What then? Share with our community.

xoxEDxox

Other articles you might enjoy:

• Trading Prada for Peace
• “Having It All” and Missing So Much
• Keeping The Balls Juggling In The Air
• Trusting HER Instincts: What Moms Will and Won’t Do For Their Kids
• A Tale of Business Travel

By Guest Blogger Virginia Champoux-Sokoloff

When I was young, no one told me what to expect out of life. They’d just say life is filled with ups and downs, so you gotta learn to roll with the punches. Good advice? Maybe. But what if all you needed to do was invest in what you have, trust your gut, go after what you want, and have fun doing it?

I graduated with a degree in Communications. I then climbed the professional ladder and landed a high pressure, demanding job in Public Relations for the International Air Transport Association. In the midst of it, I met an amazing man and got married.

From the very moment my husband Jay and I decided to share our lives together, we were faced with serious decisions. Jay suffers from cystic fibrosis, so a regular 9-5 job would be difficult since he would likely spend lots of time in the hospital. It then became our priority to shape our life in a certain way, so that we could deal with unexpected hospitalizations.

Building a family was also something we both wanted for ourselves. And being a carrier of the gene myself, this meant that we needed to turn to adoption to prevent our child from living with the disease. We did, twice, and I am so grateful for it.

I’d always been very passionate about traveling, a perk of my PR job. I remember going on business trips, and scurrying around cities looking for those little shops that would sell fun, funky and unique products I could bring back as souvenirs.

One morning it hit me. What if I opened up that little shop I was always looking for when traveling?! I knew there’d be major upsides in terms of making my own schedule – a real concern given my husband’s illness. Having our own business also meant that either Jay or I could be home with the children at all times, a choice that proved to be very important as our young daughters adapted to a new world.

The result was Mortimer Snodgrass, then a 500 sq ft gift store.

As with any new business, the process of starting up was a challenge. People would tell me we were crazy, especially with little to no knowledge of how to run a retail store. The business grew and we had to learn to rely on our staff more and more when Jay’s life challenges threw us curveballs.

Through it all, optimism, our passion and our complementary skillsets fueled us. And by surrounding ourselves with an excellent manager and good staff, we have been able to keep our family as the priority.

Now, ten years later, I can certainly say this was amongst the best decisions of my life!

Mortimer Snodgrass

In the process as a mompreneur, I have learned a few lessons about life and business. Here is what I know:

1) Bring YOU into your biz

Our store is really an extension of us. We always say that everything we sell is something we would either buy for ourselves, or for our friends. Your identity influences the business you create. Embrace this!

2) Trust your instincts

Ten years in, we have never done research, and have rarely sought and paid for professional opinions. Every business decision we have made, from renting space to choosing products has been pure instinct. We trust our gut and it has worked almost every time.

3) Love it or leave it

You’ve heard this before, but the fact is, whatever you take on won’t be successful unless you absolutely love what you do. We play to our strengths and split the work accordingly. This allows us to go to work and LOVE what we do. It’s essential!

4) The people make the environment

Dealing with rude suppliers, impolite staff and angry types negatively affects you and your business. The beauty is you get to choose whom you conduct business with. If you work well with someone, it’s worth nurturing those relationships. In the long run, everyone will be better off.

5) Treating staff right pays dividends

We’ve all had horrible bosses. Don’t be one. We’ve found that the more we open up to our staff, the more likely they are to go above and beyond for us. They embrace the spirit of our store, stick around longer and put more energy in their work.

So say thanks. When you catch staff doing something right, praise them!

6) Failing is fine (and inevitable)

Mistakes are one of the best forms of education out there. Don’t beat yourself up when they occur. We’ve ordered the wrong products, rented the wrong spaces, but I cannot imagine where we’d be if we had not committed these errors, and learned from them.

7) You cannot please everyone

Regardless of what you do, how good your service is, the effort you put into something, sometimes the result is still a disgruntled customer. Don’t waste time worrying about this. You cannot please everyone. Trying to means you’ll end up pleasing no one.

Entrepreneurship’s schedule is a blessing and a curse

Starting a new business? All the power to you! Just understand the schedule is both amazing (i.e. – you make it) and awful (i.e. – the buck stops with you and only you can handle certain situations that can arise). It does not come with an “off” switch. So, while we’ve been able to eat dinner together as a family frequently, there have been times where we have had to drop everything and deal with the business.

9) Hard decisions are hard, but need to be made quickly

We’ve all had to fire someone, or drop a long-term supplier whose products aren’t selling anymore. Letting these types of matter percolate too long does nothing to solve the problem. Get on with the tough stuff.

10) There are no rules.

Ten years later we still have no business plan. We get up everyday, we work hard, we have fun, and we laugh with our staff, and with our customers. Sometimes, we cry a little too. But we love it, that is all that matters!

Because after all, what is life without loving what you do, and who you’re doing it with?

~Virginia

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 About Virginia Champoux-Sokoloff…

Virginia and Jay Sokoloff

Virginia Champoux-Sokoloff is the co-owner (with her husband Jay Sokoloff) of Mortimer Snodgrass, a funky and unique gift store in Montreal, Canada that celebrated it’s 10th anniversary in October 2011. Now located in a central mega-store in Old Montreal and online, Mortimer Snodgrass continues to provide fun, funky and unique gifts to tourists, lifelong Montrealers, visiting celebrities (Halle Berry is a fan of the store) and customers as far away as Chile. Though Mortimer, the now 11-year-old dog that inspired the shop’s name, has retired from the daily grind of greeting customers, Virginia’s two young daughters love helping out around the shop.

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Tell us, if you’re a mompreneur, what have you learned along the way about life and business? Share your tips here…

xoxEDxox

Other articles you might enjoy:

• What You Can Learn About Life Through Business
• Being A MOMpreneur Is Big Business
• International Women’s Day
• Wordless Wednesday: The Giving Basket
• Making Your Passion Your Paycheck

I almost feel like this would be the name of a great blog. Yes, a blog about the musings of a beer drinking, ass-kicking hockey team– you know, HangoversAndHockey.com. But sadly, no. You’re still at WomenOnTheFence.com. It’s still the same me– the same go-getting, inspirational diva, just wrecked after a weekend of over-drinking and over-arena attending. But hey, what would life be like if you ONLY walked a straight line, right?

Friday night marked the beginning of a big intercity hockey tournament weekend for my 8 year old son. It was again, another weekend that our family would NOT be skiing, and would not see the light of day. We’re talking 2-3 games per day if the team advances through the rankings. See right there, I’m already starting the weekend a little p-‘d off. The ongoing argument every weekend goes something like this:

Me- WE MUST SKI.

My husband – BOYS MUST PLAY HOCKEY.

It’s a battle I see that will be following us for many years to come.

But the team won Friday night. They won Saturday morning. And that meant, they were advancing through the ranks to play Saturday night. Saturday night we had our good friends’ 90^th birthday party. Yes, he turned 50, she turned 40, and they celebrated together. Love that. I understood that my husband had to take my son to the game (which was 40 minutes away), and that he would come late to the party.

But what happened while I was there with my girlfriends alone? We were simply congregating around the oyster bar in the back, and before we knew it, someone was pouring oyster shots. Yes, how disgustingly gross does that sound? If you read this blog, you know, I love my one glass of Cabernet. If I’m feeling wild, I’ll go for another half a glass. But somehow, some waiter or husband saw seven yummy mummies standing around chatting , and decided we needed straight vodka shots with a little slimy oyster at the bottom of the glass. I cringed, but figured I’d try. At this point, I’d already had a glass of wine in me.

Three shots later, I was feeling goooood. Like, really good. Understand, I NEVER drink vodka. I never drink anything beyond wine. So, on an empty stomach, this 5’8”,  117 pounds body was doing…. well…. you know… not very well.

My husband arrived, and we had a great time. I didn’t drink anything else the rest of the night. I started to come back into my body around 10pm, and was like, “Gee, I’m fine.”

I woke up Sunday morning, and was like, “Gee, I’m still fine. Fantastic!” My hubby left early with my son for his hockey game. The team had won their Saturday night game too, and were advancing to the semi-finals on Sunday. But then, driving to the game with my little one, I started to sweat. Sweat like you’ve never seen. And I started to get nauseous. REALLY nauseous. Desperate, I ate the banana bread in my purse that was there for MY SON. I admit, not my finest moment.

I walked into the dressing room with my sunglasses on my husband took one look at me and said “What the hell is up with you? There are kids here.” Well, I was officially hungover.  For first time since college. And it wasn’t pretty. One of the dad’s looked at me and so nicely offered some great advice, “Go get a hot dog and fries. The grease will absorb the alcohol.” Oy, I was officially busted.

I then walked into the arena to watch the game. My parents, father in law and hubby followed, and we watched the team lose 2-0. They were crushed. They were out of the tournament. My son had also been given a penalty in the first period, and the other team had scored while he was in the penalty box. He was in the dressing room trying to hold it together, but the tears they were a’ comin’. I sat next to him, but he didn’t speak. He just covered his eyes with his jersey. I sat quietly next to him, not saying a word. I just rubbed his back.

So, why a blog about hockey and hangovers you might ask?

Because, there were lessons to be learned after a weekend spent nauseated at an arena. In the process I realized a few things:

• This hockey thing that has taken over our family, will serve my boys well later on in life. Activity will keep them healthy, fit, and God willing, off the streets and off drugs. And that goes for gymnastics, basketball, or whatever sport your kid is doing all the time.
• I learned that trying new things is good. Trying bad new things in moderation is good too, because it will be a while before I put a slimy oyster vodka drink near my mouth again. I realized– what is life if you don’t experiment and walk on the edge every now and then? Being bad can be fun. But being bad doesn’t MAKE you bad.
• I learned that losing is character building. It’s all fun and games when you’re winning. But the true test is how to carry on when you’re defeated. While defeat is disappointing, it builds character and sets you up to succeed the next time. That’s if you learn the lesson. I let my son cry – he was allowed to own that. He was allowed to mourn the loss. I let him. And then, carry on. Move forward.
• I learned that motherhood is the ultimate act of selflessness. What a mother won’t do for her child. She’ll go without to make sure her children don’t have to. She’ll hide her pain in the face of her cublings to show strength. She’ll walk to the ends of the earth for her babies. She’ll run here, there and everywhere, as Dr Seuss said it best. And demand nothing in return. Motherhood is a tribe. A group. If you’re in it, you get it. And while there’s no rulebook, making it tough to navigate at times, to be a part of it, is to be blessed.

So, you see. This weekend wasn’t such a bust after all. Alcohol and losing proved to be quite insightful.

I’d love to know what insights you’ve learned lately. Do you think the day you become a mother is the day you have to stop having fun? Aren’t moms allowed to have fun too? Does it make us unfit? I’d love your take.

Happy Monday lovely ladies!

xoxEDxox

Other articles you might enjoy:

• The Tortoise and the Hare
• Off The Fence
• Taking A Little “ME” Time
• “What’s for dinner, honey?” Solving the Dinner Dilemma
• Wisdom Wednesday: When You Thought I Wasn’t Looking

By Guest Blogger Jeffrey Zaslow

There’s a very old saying: “Every time a marriage takes place, a new world is created.”

In 2012, does this sound impossibly quaint? Does it sound naïvely romantic?

We all know about the odds for divorce today. We’ve seen how little the marriage vows can mean in the Kardashian Age. Indeed, a recent Pew Research poll shows that 39 percent of Americans now believe marriage is becoming “obsolete.” That’s up from 28 percent who felt that way in 1979.

And yet, at a small-town bridal shop in the American Midwest, I found reasons for hope.

As a journalist and the father of three girls, I set out last year to write a nonfiction book reflecting on the love we all wish for our daughters. I recognized that I needed a place to set the book, a place with great emotion. I considered many possibilities. Maybe I’d visit maternity wards, dance studios, daddy-daughter date nights, or spas where mothers and daughters go to bond. But then my wife suggested I find a bridal shop. Maybe that would be a place to set my story.

“There’s something about a wedding dress…” she said.

I was willing to go anywhere in the country to find the right store and the right stories. My search ended in the tiny, one-stoplight town of Fowler, Mich., a place with just 1,100 residents — and 2,500 wedding dresses. It has more bridal gowns per capita than anywhere in the United States.

Fowler is home to Becker’s Bridal, a 77-year-old institution on Main Street. It’s been run for all those years by the same family – a great-grandmother, grandmother, mother and daughter.

The store is housed in a stone structure that was once a bank, and since 1934, more than 100,000 brides have made a pilgrimage here. After they select the dress they think might be “the one,” they’re invited to step inside what used to be the old bank vault. A ten-foot-by-eight-foot space with mirrors designed to carry a bride’s image into infinity, it’s called “The Magic Room,” and with good reason. Brides and their parents routinely melt into tears there, as they reflect on all the moments that led them to that dress, that room, that moment.

And so I set out to write a book about the brides who’ve stepped into that special space. I came to Fowler not just to write about wedding gowns and what they represent. I came to understand the women wearing them, their fears and yearnings, and through them, tell a larger story about the love between parents and daughters today.

We live in an age when TV reality shows – Say Yes to the Dress, Bridezillas – have drawn attention by showcasing the frenzied pursuit of the wedding dress. These programs are often framed like sporting events, with brides bickering and dickering toward a finished line marked by their selection of a dress.

Some of this goes on at Becker’s, too, of course.  But I resolved to pay less attention to brides I met whose motives seemed somewhat frivolous, the ones more focused on their dresses than their upcoming marriages. Instead I wanted to find brides whose paths here were not necessarily easy, but who have given great thought to the love that guides and connects them.

I wanted to illuminate the most poignant aspects of a woman’s journey to the altar. The stories I share in my book are more than mere tales of brides-to-be – they’re illustrations of the ways in which all parents wish their daughters will go through life safe, happy and surrounded by love. I was reminded of the challenges young women face, of the ways in which sadness is so often intertwined with joy, and of the sweet possibilities that await them – or that may be beyond their grasp.

I guess I wanted to stand in the Magic Room with these families whose stories touched me the most, and while there, contemplate my feelings for my own daughters.

I learned a lot about bridal-gown shopping, but more about human nature.

Standing in their gowns in the Magic Room, a lot of brides find themselves thinking back to the wisdom shared by their mothers. One bride I met, Danielle, had lost her mother when she was a teenager. She wished her mother could be with her as she shopped for a dress, but she was buoyed by memories of her mother’s best advice.

Danielle’s parents were divorced; her father had been abusive to her mother. “I learned that you have to love yourself first,” her mother had told her. “You have to take care of yourself. You can’t love someone else until you love yourself.”

Danielle with her grandmother Cynda

“I love myself,” Danielle said, and that had strengthened her love for her fiancé.

In the Magic Room, I also met Erika, a fresh-faced young bride who is a throwback to another time. As a child, she had vowed to save her first kiss for the man she’d marry. She kept this promise, as did her three sisters.

The Hansen girls all vowed to save their kisses for the men they’d marry.

About 7 percent of the brides searching for gowns at Becker’s are pregnant. Another 25 percent of first-time brides already have children. And so, given the state of the unions today, I was very taken with the romantic Hansen sisters, each of whom had embraced the beauty in an uncommon patience. The choice is not for everyone, of course, but all of them found loving men who were willing to wait for something special.

The Hansen Sisters and their mother, Lynn

My time at Becker’s actually left me feeling optimistic. Yes, many of the brides I met will end up in marriages that won’t last. But I also saw a great deal of hope and love in that store. Indeed, I saw the genesis of many new worlds being created.

~Jeff

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About Jeffrey Zaslow

Through his Wall Street Journal column and bestselling books, Jeffrey Zaslow has told the stories of some of the most inspirational people of our time.

The Last Lecture, written by Randy Pausch and Jeffrey Zaslow, has been translated into 48 languages, and was #1 on best-seller lists worldwide. Five million copies have been sold in English alone, and the book has remained on The New York Times best-seller list for more than 112 weeks.

Randy Pausch and Jeffrey Zaslow

In 2011, Jeff collaborated with Rep. Gabrielle Giffords and her husband, veteran astronaut Mark Kelly, on their memoir, GABBY: A Story of Courage and Hope. The book was launched with a cover story in People magazine, and an hour-long ABC TV special hosted by Diane Sawyer. GABBY debuted near the top of the New York Times bestseller lists for both hardcovers and e-books.

Jeff’s 2009 book about female friendship, The Girls From Ames, spent 26 weeks on The New York Times list, rising to #3. People magazine named it one of the “Ten Best Books of the Year.” Lifetime Television is adapting the book for a movie.

Also in 2009, Jeff coauthored Highest Duty, the memoir of Capt. “Sully” Sullenberger, who famously landed US Airways Flight 1549 in the Hudson River. Highest Duty debuted at # 3 on The New York Times list.

Jeff’s latest book, The Magic Room: A Story About the Love We Wish for our Daughters, discussed above, was just published in January 2012. The nonfiction narrative is set at a small-town Michigan bridal shop, and looks at the lives of a handful of brides (and their parents) who’ve journeyed to the store’s “Magic Room.”

Jeff’s Wall Street Journal column focuses on life transitions and often attracts wide media interest.

The National Society of Newspaper Columnists twice named him the best columnist in a newspaper with more than 100,000 circulation. In 2008, he received the Distinguished Column Writing Award from the New York Newspaper Publishers Association.

Jeff’s TV appearances have included The Tonight Show, Oprah, Larry King Live, 60 Minutes, The Today Show and Good Morning America.

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I’d love your thoughts. I was touched by Jeffrey’s story telling, and felt you didn’t only have to have daughters to appreciate the life lessons. What are YOUR memories of your wedding and the months leading up? Have a happy weekend!

xoxEDxox

Other articles you might enjoy:

• Remembering Randy Pausch
• A Marriage for the Ages
• Confession Time
• Four Things You Should Know About Men
• The State of Marriage and Divorce

As I’m preparing to wind down for a couple of weeks, I can’t help but reflect upon the past year. 2011 has been, well… one of the most interesting years of my life.

There were highs:

We took the kids to Disney World for the first time (it was my first time too).

The plane ride home

In January, I was named to the coveted list of The Top 20 Women in Canada.

My hubby and I celebrated over 10 happy years of marriage and over 15 years of being together.

I watched my children thrive in life and school. It took my breath away, many times over.

I got to hear one of my favorite women, Oprah Winfrey speak in person.

I traveled far and wide, for both business and pleasure, meeting the most incredible people along the way.

I became a radio correspondent.

I made Forbes Magazine, twice in one year – Women On The Fence was named Forbes Magazine’s Top 100 Sites for Women , and I was named Forbes Magazine’s 25 Most Influential Women Tweeting About Entrepreneurship.

I got to hang with one of my favorite entrepreneurs – Richard Branson.

Me and entrepreneur and philanthropist Richard Branson

I got to interview some incredibly dynamic women and share their life lessons with you– Mariel Hemingway, Christy Turlington, Holly Robinson Peete, Mackenzie Phillips, Jill Zarin, Ramona Singer and many more.

Mariel Hemingway

I watched my children grow taller before my eyes, entering 3rd grade, and pre-kindergarten.

I launched The Erica Diamond Jewelry Collection for Ice.com.

I shot my first TV pilot (still in the works).

A fitting

I co-chaired an evening for 650 women that went without a hitch.

I became a Spokesperson for some incredible Brands.

I was given an award for “Outstanding Achievement in Leadership”

I became the Spokesperson for National Entrepreneurship Day (a big deal for a die-hard, ass-working, entrepreneur gal like me).

I saw Women On The Fence become a registered trademark.

There were lows:

A breast cancer scare that sent me in a tailspin, but in the end, made me truly appreciate life so much more. And made me so grateful to have this community by my side.

I watched my son not make the A-team in hockey for the first time ever – and saw the disappointment is his eyes. It hurt something awful.

But then watched him make the A-team again this fall.

My husband got into a near-fatal car crash but lived to tell.

I had writer’s block.

I shared my hate mail – it was bad.

I confessed my frustrations.

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But that was the past – and the past is gone.

Now we look forward.  We look to a new year. I love a new year as much as I love a quarter-pounder-trio at Mc Donalds– A HELLUVA LOT. A new year represents new possibilities, new beginnings, a chance to start over, and get things right. But here is the truth: I haven’t yet tweaked my Bucket List (which I do every year), nor made one single resolution (which I usually do too). This year, I’ve turned a whole new leaf. I have decided to go through 2012 with no concrete plan at all. Yes.

WHAT you might ask?! This is so very irresponsible.

But as I reflect back upon my life, I know one thing – man plans, and God laughs. I planned to go to MBA School 13 years ago, but failed my GMATS and never got in. We plan in great detail, and life still throws us unexpected curveballs. Or better yet, the flipside- we expect the worst, and things just magically work out.

So this year, I became **GASP**  a believer and truster in the Universe. I’m no longer afraid.  I’ve seen life fall into place in ways I never could have planned. And I know that things happen the way they must – this goes for both the good and the bad in our life. Today, December 19th, 2011, we only know where we’ve been.  We can’t possibly know what the future holds for any of us. And that unknown is both scary and exhilarating. I do know that with hard work, passion and persistence, comes opportunity. And I also know, that without our health and family, nothing matters.

Yes, I have my vision board. I know the dream. But this year, I will not be so rigid. And I urge you, perhaps, to not be so rigid either.  In looking to the future, I challenge you to make your resolutions, make your Bucket Lists, your life plans. Make them. But pencil in a little room for failure.  When you leave room to slip, I truly believe that’s when your best self shows itself. Plan to succeed, but plan to fail. I have found failure to be game-changing.

And one more thing– in working my ass off in 2011, I also realized something else. We get do-overs in our careers, and actually in many things in life. But we don’t get do-overs as mothers and wives. Our children are small for a very short time, and we truly only get one chance to raise them right. No do-overs there. Same goes for our relationships. So a quick tongue, or a fast word can hurt. Remember: be kind, be generous, be loving, be playful, be forgiving, be honest.

You get out of life what you put in. Every time. No shortcuts.

I’d love to know what YOU realized in 2011, and what you hope for in 2012?

xoxEDxox

Other articles you might enjoy:

• Playing In Poop
• My One Goal for 2012
• Interview: Erica Diamond Goes One-On-One with Shira Lazar
• Women On The Fence named FORBES TOP 100 WEBSITES FOR WOMEN 2011
• Erica Diamond named ‘The Top 20 Women Of 2010′

Our school principal sent this in this week’s newsletter. I think it’s magic.

“I want to take this opportunity to remind us all, that to our own children, we are their role models and heroes. They look to us for guidance, support, encouragement and love. Children are always learning from the adults around them as the following poem so eloquently states:”

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator and I immediately wanted to paint another one.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you feed a stray cat and I learned that it was good to be kind to animals.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you make my favorite cake for me and I learned that the little things can be the special things in life.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you make a meal and take it to a friend who was sick and I learned that we all have to help take care of each other.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you give of your time and money to help people who had nothing and I learned that those who have something should give to those who don’t.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you take care of our house and everyone in it and I learned we have to take care of what we are given.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw how you handled your responsibilities, even when you didn’t feel good and I learned that I would have to be responsible when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw tears come from your eyes and I learned that sometimes things hurt, but it’s all right to cry.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw that you cared and I wanted to be everything that I could be.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I learned most of life’s lessons that I need to know to be a good and productive person when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn’t looking I looked at you and wanted to say, ‘Thanks for all the things I saw when you thought I wasn’t looking.

You are your children’s most precious gift!

Wishing you and your children a beautiful day.

Today is my baby’s 5th birthday party– how the time is flying. **Sniff sniff**

xoxEDxox

Other articles you might enjoy:

• Raising a Child With a Backbone
• What Every Woman Should Have…
• Hangovers N’ Hockey
• Confession Time
• Tough Love: Yay or Nay?

It’s almost that time of year– the holiday season! This is by far my favorite time of year. Right around now, I love to grab a nice hot peppermint latte at Starbucks, Nat King Cole’s  ”Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire” is playing softly in the background, and everyone is festive. Holiday time in Montreal is so beautiful. We have the snow which adds such a vivid dimension to holiday time. It’s cozy. In fact, I walked by Ogilvy’s with the boys just last weekend (a department store in downtown Montreal), and they already had their Christmas window up!

Yesterday, I was talking to the great peeps at Kleenex, and we were chit chatting about our plans for the Christmas holidays. Because the Kleenex Cool Touch program (which I so proudly am the Brand Ambassador for) is all about softness worth sharing, we somehow ended up on the topic of sharing family traditions, and what holiday traditions have been shared, and passed down from generation to generation.

I started reminiscing about the Chanukah traditions we had in our home, and the girls shared their Christmas traditions too. But more specifically, a tradition that almost EVERY Friday night as a little girl, I slept at my grandparents’ apartment. At only 10 years old, Dallas was my favorite show on TV. Yup, I was always mature for my age.  I vividly remember the 7th season cliffhanger– Bobby Ewing dying in the hospital (later to be resurrected. Ugh). No, my mother would NOT let me watch Dallas, but my “bubby” did! We would kick my grandfather out of bed– he’d sleep on the den sofa, and my grandmother and I would watch Dallas together, religiously, 9PM Friday nights on CBS. It was a tradition for years. And that tradition has been been passed on, and my boys now often sleep at their grandparents’ Friday night.

Another tradition that has been passed down, is my nightly bath. I remember growing up, my mother religiously taking her nightly bath, candle, and yummy smells permeating from the bathroom. I laugh, because my boys know that mommy NEEDS her nightly bath to relax. I also light candles and add yummy lavender smells. It’s amazing how traditions get passed on and shared.

So, today’s post is all about sharing, and passing on traditions from generation to generation. It’s also dedicated to sharing an inspirational message with a loved one, who perhaps you won’t be with this holiday season. Send those you love a message and share pack online at Kleenex.com, and you will get to try new Kleenex Cool Touch FOR FREE! It’s all about who can spark the longest sharing chain! So far, 261,000+ people have shared inspirational messages!! Very cool.

I’d love to know, what family traditions have been shared and passed down in YOUR family? What do you hope to pass down to YOUR own children? Share those right here…

xoxEDxox

PS -Stay tuned for a Kleenex Twitter party coming in January – win a winter’s worth of Kleenex Cool Touch!!!

Disclosure: I’m proud to be a paid Kleenex Brand Ambassador for the Softness Worth Sharing Program.

Other articles you might enjoy:

• Share An Inspirational Message Via Kleenex.com
• EXCLUSIVE ANNOUNCEMENT: Erica Diamond new Kleenex Brand Ambassador Launching Campaign at Oprah Winfrey Conference
• A Weekend With Oprah – Living My Best Life
• On Vacation