By Guest Blogger Jon Gordon

There once was a tree that produced an abundant supply of fruit.
Everyone marveled at its ability to produce a record harvest each year.
The owner who sold his fruit at the local market had become one of the wealthiest men in town and he was the envy of all who knew him.

However, as the years passed the owner spent so much of his time counting and selling his fruit that he forgot to nourish the root.
He became so prideful and focused on results that he neglected to see the signs that the tree was dying.
Then one day when the owner went to pick fruit from his tree he was shocked to discover that the tree was barren.
“How could this be,” he asked?
But when he inspected the root he found his answer.
The root had dried up.

He was so focused on the fruit that he neglected the root.
He wished there was something he could do but it was too late.
It was a lesson he would never forget.

How about you? Do you focus on the numbers, the outcomes and the fruit? Or do you focus on the purpose, people, innovation, culture and root of your success.

Always remember the amount of fruit we produce is just an outcome and measurement of how well we are nurturing our root.
If we take care of our root we’ll always have an abundant supply of fruit.
Ignore the root and say goodbye to the fruit.

What is the root of your success? What do the root and fruit mean to you? Has this made you reassess your priorities in any way? Share your thoughts below.

-Jon

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About Jon Gordon:

Jon is the Wall Street Journal and international bestselling author of a number of books including The Energy Bus: 10 Rules to Fuel Your Life, Work and Team with Positive Energy, and his latest, The Seed: Finding Purpose and Happiness in Life and Work. Learn more at www.JonGordon.com. Follow Jon on Twitter @JonGordon11 or Facebook www.facebook.com/jongordonpage.

This is Jon’s second blog post on WomenOnTheFence.com. To read his first, click here.

Other articles you might enjoy:

• 23 Secrets To Improve Your Life
• “Wordy” Wednesday: Game Changing
• Wisdom Wednesday: A Little Bit Of Inspiration
• Failing Forward
• Remembering Randy Pausch

Let me start by saying, I am one of the world’s biggest supporters and advocates for marriage. There is thankfully no divorce on either side of our family. This blog post is by no means meant to encourage divorce. I believe divorce should be a very last resort.  Divorce is, however, the statistic for one out of every two marriages, and so today I wanted to offer tips to those people affected. My greatest hope is that if you are currently struggling in your own marriage or relationship, this will be your wake-up call to get off the fence and get help, before it is too late.

Erica

By Guest Blogger Scott Morgan

As a divorce lawyer, I see people on a daily basis dealing with the aftermath of separation and divorce. In those cases where the couple has children, the unavoidable reality is that the children are likely to experience much more emotional turmoil and anxiety than the parents anticipate.

As a father of two young children (ages five and seven), I consider myself very fortunate to have a healthy marriage and a stable family for my children to grow up in. As I tell my clients, if you have children, you owe it to yourself and to them to see if there is any way to work things out so that you can have a happy, well-adjusted family. Yes, it is possible. Unfortunately, often after much of a fight to keep a marriage together, sometimes there is simply no remaining practical option but to divorce and start over. When this is the case, it is time to focus on co-parenting.

While most parents agree that they want to do what is in their children’s best interest, following through with that can often be challenging. Here are some tips to help you move past the pain and work with your ex-spouse.

Effective Co-Parenting is the Best Way to Help Your Children Adapt to the Divorce

Your divorce will affect your children; this is an unavoidable fact. Working together on a healthy co-parenting arrangement will help your children adjust to this major change. They need to know they are still loved in order to feel secure during this time. However, the benefits extend beyond childhood security and self-esteem.

Learning how to solve problems. Children learn how to work through their issues by watching their parents. If the parents are locked in a battle of wills that is fraught with name-calling and spitefulness, then the children will learn the same behavior. Even though you have divorced, you and your ex can still be partners. Your cooperation and willingness to move past the pain will teach your child how to resolve issues and work together.

Consistent rules are more productive. Children of divorced parents will learn quickly how to play both sides of the fence in order to get their way. Working together eliminates this problem. Even though you are divorced, you will still have to come to an agreement on key issues and abide by those agreements. When the rules, discipline and rewards are consistent between the households, everyone will benefit.

Set the Pain Aside

Divorces usually come packed with emotions. It is normal to feel angry, resentful and hurt, especially in divorces where abuse, neglect or infidelity played a role. It is vital that you find a way to set those feelings aside. This is the time to focus on your child’s needs. The co-parenting arrangements are not about your relationship with your ex-spouse, they are about your child’s relationship with both of you. Remember that your children should never be your sounding board for problems with your ex, nor are they your support for the emotions you are going through. Call your friends, join a therapy group or find a great counselor to fill this role. Your job is to support your children and the co-parenting arrangements, and that means keeping your negative feelings about your ex to yourself.

Be the Adults

It is tempting to have your kids deliver messages, but this puts your child squarely in the middle and undermines your co-parenting efforts. Be an adult about the situation, pick up the phone and talk with your ex-spouse. It will be awkward at first, but it will get easier with time. Most importantly, it will benefit your children. Here are some tips to help you communicate effectively and avoid fighting over the phone.

• Keep a formal tone. When you view the relationship with your ex as a business partnership, it will become easier to stay civil. Remember that the important party here is your child, and use the same respectful tone with your former spouse that you would use with an important customer or colleague.
• Ask, do not demand. Remember the old saying that you will catch more flies with honey than with vinegar? When you need something from your spouse, ask nicely rather than demanding.
• Listen to your ex-spouse. It is tempting to tune out everything your former partner is saying, but that is not what’s in your child’s best interests. Listening does not necessarily mean that you agree, but it does show respect and will help keep things on a positive note.
• Calm and collected. Your ex-partner is not going to go away, so you will have to find some way to work together until your child is grown. Getting angry after a conversation or fighting with your ex on the phone will cause your child a great deal of stress. It is in your child’s best interest for you to find ways to stay calm when dealing with the ex.
• Kid-focused conversations. Discussions with your partner can sometimes degenerate into complaint sessions about old issues. When the conversation starts to shift in this manner make an effort to turn the focus back to the children.

Co-parenting arrangements can be difficult to put in place, but they are extremely important. Your children will benefit greatly from watching you and your ex-spouse work together. In addition to feeling more secure and loved, they will also learn important problem solving skills. The road won’t always be easy, but your children will benefit greatly from your efforts.

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About Scott Morgan

Scott Morgan is a board certified divorce lawyer in Austin, Texas who regularly blogs on the subject of divorce and family law. You can read his blog at AustinDivorceSpecialist.com.

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I have to say, reading this post today makes me sad. Tell us, have you been affected by divorce? Are you a divorced parent currently doing your best to co-parent in the most effective way possible for you and your children? How can you properly co-parent if you are angry or resentful? How can you even AVOID divorce in the first place? Please share any tips with our readers.

xoxEDxox

Other articles you might enjoy:

• The Perks of Dating (And Flirting) At Forty
• The State of Marriage and Divorce
• How I Saved My Marriage
• 10 Tips To Survive The Divorce Epidemic
• A Remembrance Day Message

By Guest Blogger Francesca Perrini

I was living the dream: a six-figure income, beach vacations, plenty of time off to cultivate my hobbies, and a growing savings account, all before I was 25.

And then we got divorced, and I woke up to the fact that half of us had no job security, no career trajectory, no savings, and basically no idea. Yes, you guessed it. My half. I had never so much as opened a bank account by myself.

Though my ex was fair to me when we split up the money (in the proportions that we had each earned it, which added up to about a 70-30 split), I quickly ran through what he had transferred into my new checking account as I moved from apartment to apartment and nursed my wounds with treats I couldn’t afford (clothes, nights out with the girls, weekend jaunts to San Juan).

Then, after spending weeks carefully selecting my first credit card (I remember it like yesterday– the ‘AmEx Blue Cash,’ no annual fee, 1% back on everything, 5% back on some stuff), I made a major rookie mistake:

I thought that by putting everything on my card, I would be making tons of free money. (The word “cash” is literally printed on the card–what could go wrong?) What I didn’t count on was losing track of my cash flow and spending way more than I was earning. I ended up paying my bills by drawing from my savings account.

Eventually the money just ran out, and it became frighteningly clear that I had to adapt to my new reality.

It was hard to admit that someone as smart as me (oh, go on) could be so clueless when it came to money, but (of course) admitting it was the first step toward recovery. I didn’t exactly freeze my credit card, but I did hand it to a friend. That way if I ever really needed it in an emergency, it was there, but it wasn’t there when I wanted to go on health and beauty shopping sprees at Duane Reade or completely unnecessary trips to H&M.

Did I mention I was also laid off in the middle of all of this? Yeah. But by some strange serendipity, I quickly landed a new job at a personal finance start-up, which solved two problems: income and education. I read personal finance books (like “The WSJ Complete Money & Investing Guidebook”) and blogs (like Get Rich Slowly) in order to prepare for my job, but I was really learning by practicing with my own meager assets.

With a lot of support from my new colleagues, and help from online resources and tools like Mint.com, I made a plan that allowed me to pay off my credit card and start saving a little each month. I spent a lot of time researching and found higher-yield accounts. I opened my first brokerage account and purchased my first stock – three whole shares of it! I even asked for (and received) a raise.

Even though I was still pretty poor, I was suddenly optimistic about the future. It was like watching myself grow up – things that were once foreign became familiar, and things that were hard became easy. I was proud of myself as I watched my emergency fund grow from two weeks’ worth of expenses to three months’. I was joyful when I purchased my first CD. And I was triumphant when I realized that I had survived the hardest year of my life–on my own.

Though my heart didn’t recover as steadily as my finances did, I began to feel the pleasure of taking ownership of my life. How we women are stronger than we ever imagine possible, all when tested.

If you’re wondering how I went from broke to unbroken, here are a few tips. Here’s how to avoid incompetent princess syndrome:

1. Get a job. A career, rather. Even if you’re living the stay-at-home dream right now, you may not always have the desire (or luxury) to do so.
2. Respect money. Learning how to budget and spend intentionally won’t just make you richer–it will make you smarter.
3. Ask for help when you’re in trouble. Although I didn’t, I probably could have saved my stressed-out self a lot of money if I had asked my parents to step in and help me take control.
4. Have faith in yourself. It takes time and effort to climb out of a financial hole. But if you’re trying, hang in there–you’re on the right track.
5. Don’t go through with the wedding if you have a dream about living in a prison guarded by your spouse and his family (true story)!

It’s painful to learn that only one person really has your back in life—and that’s you. But the experience of growing from half of a couple to one whole person forced me to take responsibility for myself, to care for myself, and, finally, to love myself. From there, the sky was the limit.

—-

About Francesca Perrini…

Francesca Perrini is a pseudonym for a DailyWorth.com employee who wished to remain anonymous.

DailyWorth.com is a community of women who talk money. They deliver practical tips, inspiring ideas, and the occasional kick in the pants…daily to your inbox! DailyWorth.com was started as a way to give women key insights into building real net worth. DailyWorth stands out as the go-to source about personal finance for smart, ambitious women. Since its inception in January 2009, DailyWorth has garnered 250,000+ subscribers and a stream of media appearances, including New York Times, Forbes, and USA Today. It’s founder Amanda Steinberg has also written for WomenOnTheFence.com.

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Tell us, are you guilty about knowing too little about money or your current financial situation? Have you ever suffered from the same syndrome as Francesca? Do you control the finances in your household, or does your partner? Do you know little about your current financial situation? If so, does this scare you? This is a place where women share and help each other. Feel free to comment anonymously.  

Happy Monday.

xoxEDxox

Other articles you might enjoy:

• My Weight Watchers Inspired Money Diet
• Joy, Despair, Hope and Healing

On a perfect day, the kids are well behaved, we breeze through homework, my husband comes home happy from the war office, I book another speaking engagement and sponsorship, everyone’s healthy, the sun is shining, and we’re feelin’ groovy.

Happens everyday.

YAH OKAY!!! WHATEVER! Hasn’t happened once.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed and overworked, finding it more challenging than ever to juggle the demands of your job and the rest of your life, you are not alone. Work/life balance. Such an ancient topic. One we women love to vent about to whomever will listen. After dropping kids off at school and working a full day, the responsibilities still fall upon us to do the groceries, get the dry cleaning, go to Walmart, stay in touch with friends, attend a PTA meeting, prepare a tasty meal, play happy wife, happy mommy, happy employee, and all with that Mary Poppins-like smile. Life can get, well, pretty draining.

So, does real work/life balance truly exist? Well, I speak around the country on this topic, and I say no. It’s more like a work/life IMbalance. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing. It’s a matter of being comfortable with, and accepting of the fact that not every day, you will be in the groove. Very rarely, does everything come together, at the perfect moment. At the end of the day, all you can do is your own personal best, and pray to the Gods that life comes together as neatly as possible. It’s a matter of SURRENDERING to perfection. Being okay with imperfect. Try it once, you’ll be a new woman.

If you are in the category of  ”frazzled and overwhelmed,” please read these 8 work/life balance tips. How do you calm the buzzing bee in you? You must.

1. Remember what’s important in your life, and prioritize! If you look at the habits of highly successful people, amidst their frenetic paces and frenzy, they’re able to maintain perspective. It’s not about getting MORE done, it’s about prioritizing and choosing quality over quantity. What unnecessary things can you eliminate from your life to make room for the things you enjoy. That nurture you. Things that calm you, and make you less frazzled.
2. I wrote a whole blog post on Guilt. I encourage you to read it. Guilt is a major road block for you. I promise you, if you ignore your own needs out of guilt, for long enough, you are going to experience a volcanic eruption… and it ain’t gonna be pretty! Stop the comparisons between what you’re doing and what you think you “should be” doing. It’s called realistic expectations! Go and get some!
3. Something many women don’t like to do…. ASK FOR HELP! From husbands, from siblings, from friends. Can you ask a girlfriend to do your carpool today so you can take a stroll for an hour, or go get a coffee and visit a bookstore? The superwoman images in the media are not serving us well. Ask for help when you can. Don’t be afraid!
4. Move your behind! It’s difficult to exercise when you have a jam-packed schedule, but study after study demonstrate the positive effects that exercise have on your energy level, physical health and mental psyche. I credit much of my ability to multi-task and perform at high levels due to the gym.
5. Physically pencil-in downtime into your schedule. Yes, I’m serious. Get out your IPhone, Blackberry, Android, whatever, and schedule in time with family and friends, and well as activities you enjoy doing that relax and recharge you. It should be something that feeds your soul- a movie, dinner with a girlfriend, a massage, a manicure, SEX. Whatever.
6. Drop those activities that suck your time and energy. Life is short, and you should be spending time on activities that enhance your personal life or career. If you enjoy volunteering, but it’s zapping you of your time and energy, cut back, or cut it out. Not forever. For now.
7. Learn proper time-management skills. This helps greatly with the frazzled factor. Try not to procrastinate. When you take too much upon yourself, and then leave it for the last minute, the anxiety builds, and the bee starts buzzing around! Keep a journal, diary or to-do list, and manage it daily. Do a couple of tasks each day, instead of leaving them all for one day. Things will become a lot less overwhelming.
8. Get Organized! You will feel lighter, and much less frazzled if you are ORGANIZED. Programs like Microsoft OneNote are lifesavers. I recently started using it and it is like my brain and life in one neatly organized program. Everything you need for your life and work are all easily accessible, decreasing time-waste, and increasing efficiency. I even inputted my recipes! If you haven’t heard of what OneNote can do for your life, watch this video.

Also, check out this fun video I shot with a fellow hockey mom.  We share our favorite work / life balance tips.

Does work/life balance really exist, in your opinion? Do you feel frazzled? What are your best multi-tasking, work/life balance tips. Share them with our community.

xoxEDxox

Today’s post was sponsored by

Disclosure: I am a proud paid Spokesperson for Microsoft Office.

Other articles you might enjoy:

• Announcement: Erica Diamond New Spokesperson for Microsoft Office
• Trading Prada for Peace
• Trading a Career for Mommyhood: 5 Power Tips
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• “Having It All” and Missing So Much

Whenever March 12th rolls around (my husband’s birthday), I always know it’s time for me to take stock of my life. It’s the time I start sweeping out the cobwebs; literally and figuratively. Winter’s snow melts away, and all the things you have been ignoring in your life, start to present themselves again. Aaah, I forgot about you! Spring is a great time to deal with these things head-on.  And that’s not a bad thing– spring is about rebirth, renewal, regeneration.

Because March 12th, my husband’s birthday, always reminds me of this ‘life spring cleaning,’  I wanted to take a moment to honor him today. Here is a video I made for my hubby last year on Father’s Day. Hilly Diamond, enjoy this. Thank you for always being so close by my side. I love you now and forever.

And now, back to spring. Spring is a chance to clean up your house, literally and figuratively. There’s more to house cleaning than just cleaning out your basement and cedar closet.  You should be approaching your spring cleaning as an emotional cleanse, just as much as a physical cleanse. What dust-balls are lurking in the corner in your life?? Gotta clean up, ladies!

Here are some tips to get you off the fence, and start spring cleaning your life:

• Sweep out the old. We all have garbage in our lives we need to get rid of, from bad habits, to negative personality traits, to toxic relationships.   If you’ve been carrying around all this crap, it’s time to open the door, and sweep it out of your life.
• Wash away procrastination. Do you constantly find yourself behind the 8 ball, trying to catch up, and keep up? Plan ahead. No more putting off tomorrow what you can do today. Look at your calendar and get organized! Procrastination leads to stress, and who wants added stress in their life? Stop waiting until the last minute for everything. I am often guilty of this, but I’m working on it.
• Dust off that attitude! Instead of always moping about what you DON’T have, be grateful for what you DO have! We’re all guilty of sometimes letting our attitudes get the best of us. A positive attitude is a must. Get outside for a walk, or head to the gym. It often refocuses us. Things often don’t look as bad once you’ve regrouped.
• Clean up your finances. Do you have unopened bills sitting on your desk? Are you falling behind in your payments? It’s not too late. Now’s the time to be proactive. Sit down, close the door, and start cleaning up your desk and your finances! Seek financial advice if you’re too overwhelmed to start making a change alone. Make a list of priorities and tackle them one at a time. Living with financial concerns is a reality for most everyone, but there are ways you can improve your finances and get them in check.
• Clean Up Your Marriage. Do you feel the lines of communication have broken down in your relationship? If so, this needs to be attended to pronto. Ask a parent or friend to take your kids, and make a date with your significant other. Reconnect. TALK. Discuss the issues that have been tearing you apart. There is no better time than now to clean up your relationship and work toward a more blissful marriage. Come to think of it, our date night last Saturday night was the first time we were alone in over a month. We were due.
• Start small. If you’re so overwhelmed like most people are when it comes to spring cleaning your house and your life, START SMALL! Make a list of everything that bothers you, and that needs attending to. Both in your house and your life. A great idea is to get rid of one thing per week on your list. As your start to cross those things off your list, you’ll start to feel lighter. Also, on a house cleaning note: THINK BEFORE YOU BUY. Do you really need that extra WHATEVER??

So ladies, spring is almost in the air! The flowers are on their way. Clean up your house. Clean up your life. Make a list, and get started. What are you waiting for?

Tell us, what’s on your spring cleaning ‘to-do’ list? Putting it out there holds you accountable and keeps you on track.

xoxEDxox

Other articles you might enjoy:

• 10 Tips To Spring Clean Your Body
• Spring Cleaning

By Women’s Activist Gloria Feldt

Today, March 8, is celebrated around the globe as International Women’s Day http://www.internationalwomensday.com/.  Some decry its commercialization, as corporate sponsors have realized it’s in their best interests to appeal to women who make over 85 percent of consumer purchases around the globe.

But it’s a day whose meaning inspires me to think back to a very special moment on September, 1995.

I was attending the United Nations Fourth World Conference on Women http://www.un.org/womenwatch/daw/beijing/, where hugely ambitious and thrilling goals were set for improving the lives of women, and by extension their families and the world.

The official conference was in Beijing, but the much larger convocation of activists from nongovernmental organizations—40,000 enthusiastic women and a few good men like my husband—was literally stuck in the mud in Huairu, a suburb an hour’s drive from the city.

Thousands of sleepy people had arrived at dawn on the morning of Sept. 6, to stand packed together under a roof of brightly colored umbrellas, jockeying for the few hundred seats inside the auditorium where then first lady of the United States Hillary Clinton was slated to give a speech.

Thanks to my training in clinic defense, which had taught me how to form a wedge and move expeditiously through even the most aggressive crowd, I was fortunate not only to get inside but to get a seat. The program was running late; Hillary was running even later and the crowd was getting restless.

Just as it seemed a revolt might be brewing, Shirley May Springer Stanton, the cultural coordinator of the conference, sauntered onto the stage and began to sing a capella, ever so softly: “Gonna keep on moving forward. Never turning back, never turning back.”

Then she asked the audience to join her. Pretty soon the house was rocking. By the time the first lady arrived and gave her brilliant “human rights are women’s rights and women’s rights are human rights” speech http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UkarsUszRfg, it truly felt like the global movement for women’s rights was unstoppable.

Hillary Clinton, Beijing 1995

It was, you might say, an ovular moment.

Where are women today? How far have we come?

Here in the United States, that moment can seem long ago. Today, women are aghast that presidential candidates are railing against birth control (yes, birth control!) access for American women, and members of Congress argue against funding for international family planning services that could reduce the millions of unsafe abortions and risky pregnancies that cause 500,000 unnecessary deaths each year globally.

But the U.S. women’s movement can take inspiration from working in sisterhood with women from around the globe. When the United States failed to meet its commitments to the global public-health community, many developing countries began funding these essential women’s health services beyond all expectations and the European nations stepped in to fill much of the void left by America’s abdication of leadership.

Women’s economic development projects are also fueling economic growth around the world while bringing greater equality to the women in their societies. Sex trafficking and other acts of violence against women, long merely routine facts of life for women, are becoming subjects of international media attention and human rights action. And female heads of state have been elected in Europe, Africa and Latin America.

18 female elected heads of state

And though the U.S. has yet to follow suit, Hillary Clinton almost broke through that “highest and hardest glass ceiling,” is serving the country with great distinction as Secretary of State. And that puts her in a position not just to talk about, but to implement her declaration that women’s rights are human rights at the highest policy levels.

As an activist for women through almost four decades, I know that no movement for social justice moves forward without struggle, nor does forward movement necessarily go in a straight line.  All of us who support it must have the political will, courage, commitment, stamina and a never-ending creation of inspiring initiatives that touch real people’s lives. A movement, after all, has to move. Power and energy come from moving into new spaces, not from standing still.

On this Women’s Equality Day, we can proudly acknowledge that women have changed the world, much for the better in terms of justice and equality. That’s exactly what scares our adversaries and causes the kind of backlash from those who do not want women to be able to stand in our power and walk with intention to our own unlimited lives, as the Power Tools in my book No Excuses show how to do.

One of those Power Tools, “Employ Every Medium” was used very effectively by a group of African women who attended the Beijing conference and told their story about how they stamped out spousal abuse in their village when they had been unable to get their local law enforcement officers to do it.

The women banded together, took their cooking pots, and took up positions outside of the homes of men who had committed violent acts against their wives. They banged on those pots so loudly that the whole neighborhood came out and took note. And after a while, the men came out of their homes and agreed to change their behavior.

Each country today has different reasons to bang their pots on this International Women’s Day 2012. But the refrain for all of us who aspire to global justice for women is the same.

“Gonna raise our voices boldly, Never turning back. Gotta keep on moving forward, Never turning back, Never turning back.”

–

About Gloria Feldt…

Gloria Feldt is a nationally renowned activist and author, whose passion for social justice has propelled her life’s work. Her new book, No Excuses: 9 Ways Women Can Change How We Think About Power, was published by Seal Press in October 2010. It reveals why women are stuck at 18% of top leadership roles and, through both inspirational stories and practical tools, shows how women can redefine power, lead themselves with intention, and reach parity from the boardroom to the bedroom for good—their own and society’s.

Feldt’s previous books include the New York Times bestseller Send Yourself Roses, co-authored with actress Kathleen Turner, Behind Every Choice Is a Story, and The War on Choice.

People Magazine calls Feldt “the voice of experience.” A teen mother from rural Texas, Feldt served as president and CEO of Planned Parenthood Federation of America, the nation’s largest reproductive health and advocacy organization, from 1996-2005. Feldt’s passion for bettering women’s lives remains her driving force as an independent commentator on women’s issues, politics, media, and leadership. Feldt teaches “Women, Power, and Leadership” at Arizona State University and serves on the board of the Women’s Media Center.

Gloria Feldt is the author of No Excuses: 9 Ways Women Can Change the Way We Think About Power. 

A few reviews of her book:

Other articles you might enjoy:

• Happy International Women’s Day
• International Women’s Day 100th Anniversary
• International Women’s Day
• Becoming A Confident Woman of Action
• Elizabeth Edwards, A Woman Off The Fence

Hello there! We’re back from a blissful week of skiing in Colorado with the kids. And what a week it was. Heaven with a few interesting stories.

The truth is, my husband is a ridiculously awesome skier. I’m just average. But we have sacrificed our love of skiing for another sport called HOCKEY. Because of this, we barely ski. So when the kids were off last week on winter break, we decided to try something new… a ski vacation!

Last Monday, we flew out to Denver, Colorado and then drove to skiing HEAVEN: Beaver Creek. I had only heard about it- that it’s the greatest ski resort for families, Kelsey Grammar has a house there, and that the First Lady Obama recently vacationed in Beaver Creek. Well, all I can say is, it lived up to the hype.

After 4 days, we then headed over to Keystone Mountain, which was no less phenomenal. Skiing, tubing, KIDTOPIA, Camp Keystone, the largest ice castle IN THE WORLD, all made my kids… well… pretty darn happy.

I think today, I will blog in picture, as my words would not do this trip justice. Here are some moments, in random order.

Hubby and I skiing on Keystone Mountain. Check out this view!

On a sleigh ride at dusk (pulled by horses below) and a COWBOY to a 4-course meal served in a remote cabin on Keystone Mountain

Our ride to dinner. No joke. (A real treat).

Just a little view from our condo

Getting outfitted for their ski rentals! Excited to hit the slopes.

Just dropped the kids at ski school. Heading out ALONE! Woo hoo!

Mountain Cat ride to the SUMMIT of Beaver Creek to eat at Beano's Cabin. GOOGLE IT. INSANITY. 5-course meal, and you EAT IN COZY FLUFFY SLIPPERS!

Beaver Creek Village by the ice rink

Night skating in the Village at Beaver Creek

Smores every day at 5PM at The Park Hyatt Hotel in Beaver Creek. Simply awesome.

The view while the kids were tubing. Breathtaking.

Daddy went tubing!

I went tubing too! In fact, we went as a foursome!!

My boys

I'm a pro skier!

It was PrezFest while we were in Beaver Creek, a celebration of American Presidents for President's Week.

My son made me make bunny ears.

PrezFest!

The only thing we missed was Keystone's Night Skiing. It was heaven to watch. We were too pooped!

Every day at 3PM, chefs come out in the Beaver Creek Village giving out HOT FRESH CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES!

Nothing like hot fresh cookies

My ass is paying the price this week

My jeans wouldn't button up this morning. Truth.

Keystone has the largest snow fort in THE WORLD! It was very cool.

Two cool ski bums hangin' in the Village apres skiing.

On the mountain loving every minute of it!

Hey!

We had a hot tub inside our condo at Keystone. Guess who was in there constantly?

Dinner at a restaurant called Bighorn Steakhouse in Keystone overlooking a 5 ACRE ICE RINK!!

Brothers.

Me. Check out the view behind me!

Gondola ride up to tubing. Shiny Happy People.

Hubby skiing. He took those double black diamonds WITHOUT ME!

The hot tubber.... AGAIN!

Familia

BIRDS OF PREY!!!! WOO HOO!!!!!

Apres Ski- wine by the outdoor fireplace in the Beaver Creek Village. Happiness is not the word here. Cheers!

As always, when you try something new, you usually learn something new. Below are some highlights, blunders, and lessons learned.

• Sometimes, a couple just needs some “alone time” to regroup together. No kids. No guilt. The minute we put our kids into ski school, we breathed a sigh of relief. We’re ALONE! Life, kids, responsibilities, stress, all have a way of chipping away at a marriage, and often couple-time is the first to go. You need to make that time and connection.
• Although there’s a fine line between pushing kids too hard, and not enough, I discovered this week, for the first time, that sometimes giving that tiny extra push really does make a kid stronger. The key is giving a “gentle, guided push.” My husband and I have been known to protect our boys, but this week, we pushed them a little harder, and they flourished.
• There was a boy who was mean to my 8 year old son in ski school one day. He came off the mountain upset. I asked him what he learned from that experience. Of course I asked him what he learned, you know me! His answer, “That you can’t always be the prince.” That answer made this trip worth EVERYTHING. Life can be humbling. And that is not a bad thing.
• I learned that things are not always as they appear: when I just LOST IT at one moment and raised my voice to my children in public, one father looked at me like I was a crazy person. Perhaps I did “look” crazy, but I assure you, I’m quite normal. Sometimes, we only see half truths. So, the lesson? Don’t believe all you see. Sometimes, they’re really just half truths.
• Having sex in the high altitude could make you think you’re having a heart attack. You’re not. You’re just out of breath from the altitude.
• When we rode to dinner on a horse, in a sleigh, taken by a REAL COWBOY, I realized my whole tech madness is just that- MAD. These people work and play in the outdoors. In the fresh air. They live a simpler, healthier, more peaceful existence. I wondered if perhaps, I missed the boat in life. They seemed to have it all in a different way than perhaps you and I would define having it all… something to think about. Simplify.

So, all in all, this was definitely our best family trip. Beaver Creek and Keystone, you will be missed. We learned a lot about ourselves this week. A bientot for sure!

PS – I’d love your thoughts.

PPS – I joined Pinterest while I was away. It is one dangerous thing.

Other articles you might enjoy:

• Wordless Wednesday: Hello from Beaver Creek, Colorado
• Wordless Wednesday