Has there ever been a more pressure-filled time than now to be a child growing up in North America? I almost think not.

I was at the gym today, and was chit-chatting with another mom I hadn’t seen in a while. We caught up in our lives, and she asked me what my boys are doing this summer. I proceeded to tell her that my 5 year old son is going back to his day camp and hockey camp at the end of the summer. And that my older 8 year old son was going to sleepaway camp, up until last month, when we cancelled.

She then said to me, “You did the right thing, Erica. Besides, why are we in such a rush today to push our kids into everything?”

I told her about his adamant request to go to sleepaway camp this summer, at end of 3rd grade.  Despite the fact that my husband and I felt he wasn’t emotionally ready, we didn’t deny his request. We visited the open house this winter, and he loved it. It was also the camp where his mommy and daddy met, and how cool that he’d be going there too! We asked him, “You’re ready, buddy?” He replied, “I love it. I’m so ready.” He begged us, and we happily complied. Our boy was growing up!

And, oh was he proud. When people asked him what he was doing this summer, he beamed. Sleepaway camp!

But in the end, it was all too much. He began to have recurring bad dreams and anxiety about camp. Perhaps we should have forbidden him to go in the first place, knowing he wasn’t ready this year. But that is not our way. We wanted to allow HIM to make his own decision, and spread his own wings. After another bad dream one night, I quietly asked him, “Are you sure you’re ready for sleepaway camp? It’s more than okay if you are not, sweetheart. It’s okay to sit this summer out. We will be proud of you and support your decision, either way.” I gave him a few weeks to think about it and decide.

And just a few weeks ago, he came up to me one day, “Mom, I am not ready for sleepaway camp.”

And just like that, he was a new person.

I breathed a sigh of relief, because I knew in my heart he really wasn’t ready. But the truth is, my husband and I would NOT have picked him up had he been homesick this summer. We wouldn’t. And the proof of that is right here. It’s not about tough love. It’s about the commitment. I was raised, that when you make a commitment, you see it through. And thankfully, my husband and I are a unified front when it comes to quitting.We both feel that when you make that commitment, you keep your word. It is character building and important. I knew in my heart that this summer would have been a total bust had he gone. But I didn’t put my foot down, and I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I let him lead the way. And in the end, I believe allowing him to make his own final decision was the best thing for him.

So, we’re sitting this summer out, and next year, he will be a full year older, more mature, and better prepared. We’ll reassess.

On a side note, read these. These were MY sleepaway camp letter when I was his age. Let’s pray to God he doesn’t follow in his mom’s footsteps.

——————————————————————————————————————–

I SCREEM.

——————————————————————————————————————–

If I send MANY WISHES, maybe THAT will work! Maybe they’ll come pick me up.

——————————————————————————————————————–

I cried 29 times, but PLEASE DON’T FORGET TO SEND GIFTS!

——————————————————————————————————————–

THEY AREN’T BRINGING ME HOME. I CAN SEE IT NOW. SO, LET’S SEND THE THREAT MAIL. NO “LOVE, ERICA” ANYMORE.

Then I ran away. No joke.

Ok, I know you’re dying from laughter now. Just imagine my mother. I was a frikkin’ nightmare.

But in all seriousness, what is with our society and the race to give our children everything, too quickly? My son is pretty much one of his only friends not going to sleepaway camp this summer. At 8 years old, he is just not ready to leave us for the summer. Why is this a bad thing?

And I’ll take it one step further. Why do we give our kids electronics at such a young age, often before they’re developmentally ready? I’m guilty. Why did I give in to basketball, swimming, hockey, and baseball, all for this spring season? Again, guilty. Why is sleepaway camp at 8 a must (as it is for many kids in my community)? Why do parents I know give their children extra summer reading to stay ahead of the game, instead of the summer off to relax and enjoy being a kid? Why are my son’s peers doing extra off-ice hockey training? Why are parents redshirting their kids at record numbers, for that competitive advantage? Why are anxiety and depression at record highs in children and teens due to the extreme pressures they feel trying to keep up with the curriculum, and social pressures? Why are kids smoking, doing drugs and having sex at younger ages than ever?

What is with the race to have everything and DO everything so soon? I ask you? I just feel like it’s a race to expose our kids, and push our kids to be smart, athletic and all-around great, at a very young age.

So today, I ask you, what do you make of this race to have it all? Am I completely off base? Have you been guilty of pushing your kids into something too soon? Is it all too much pressure? Should I have forced my son to go this summer? I’m often on the fence between ‘When is it pushing too hard, and when should you push in order to not raise a quitter? I would really love your take on all of this- are we pushing our kids too hard, too soon?

xoxEDxox

Other articles you might enjoy:

• Hangovers N’ Hockey
• Confession Time
• Slow Down
• Priceless Wednesday
• Wordless Wednesday

Sunday is the day we honor mothers everywhere. For some, Mother’s Day is a day to rejoice. For others, it’s a sad and difficult day, as many will celebrate this Mother’s Day without a mom. While still for others, it’s a dreaded day filled with tension and perhaps regret of what could have been. I recall two years ago, I was at Walmart buying cards for my mother and mother-in-law, and next to me, there was a beautiful woman in her thirties also shopping for cards. We looked at each other and said, “Not a great selection, huh?” But then I found something really nice, and I said to her, “Hey, look at this one. It’s a nice one,” to which she replied, “Oh no, I can’t stand my mother.”

This year, I would like to pay tribute to a special woman. My mother. She has devoted herself whole-heartedly to our family, and today, I honor her.

Mom,

It feels like just yesterday I was your little girl. Your only child. All my memories, as far back as I can remember, are of the two of us. You and me, sitting at our small kitchen table, eating foods that really no one ate back then. Whole wheat bread, organic fruits, all healthy things. I remember saying, “Why do I always have to eat healthy food?” To which you replied, “It will make you grow big, strong and smart. And one day, you will also feed these foods to your own kids.”

Little did I know you were right.

The house was quiet. Daddy was working. Hunting for our family. And all I remember is us always… TALKING. Maybe that’s why I became a businesswoman and speaker. We just always… TALKED. Nothing was off limits. Cigarettes– we talked through. Body image– we talked through. Drugs– we talked through. We even talked about sex. Repression was not a word in our vocabulary. We never let anything slide under the rug, and we dealt with problems head-on. We ripped off band aids and dealt with the wounds. Right to the core. Raw.

I was a good girl. I was. Despite the few mishaps here and there- bringing boys to my room too late at night (remember that? Daddy asked if I was prostituting), or smoking with Caroline the babysitter at 8 years old. Despite these MINOR INCIDENCES, I was pretty good. And you didn’t scold me for experimenting. 

At every stage in my life, you have been my biggest cheerleader. Through the good – me as a prima ballerina for 17 years, good grades in school, marriage to my best friend, the birth to my boys. And then, through the bad – break ups with boyfriends, my failure to get into MBA School, disappointments. You always showed me unconditional love. It has been this, that has made me flourish.

We also laughed. A lot. I still remember lying in my bed at night trying to sleep, hearing the sound of your cackling laughter. You watched Three’s Company religiously, and I can still hear Jack Tripper’s voice in my head shouting, “Jaaaaanet!”  You let me stay up ’till 10 o’clock Thursday AND Friday nights to watch Dynasty and Dallas (my favorite shows) when none of my friends were staying up that late. And you let me BLARE Laura Branigan’s “Gloria” on my 45 record player even though you hated the loud noise. We had great times, and we continue to share great times together.

So today, as I reflect upon the past 37 years of being your daughter, I feel so lucky. Lucky to have been born into the bosom of infinite love, dedication, closeness and respect. I only hope that one day, my children will look up to me, as I have looked up to you, as a role model and mentor. And I only hope that they grow up with the confidence and self esteem I have grown up with, because of the way you nurtured me.

With love and gratitude.

Mom, enjoy this video…

I would like to wish a very Happy Mother’s Day to my incredibly devoted mother-in-law, who has role modeled for me, the importance of family. I love you and am so grateful for you. And to ALL Moms everywhere, a very Happy Mother’s Day. We are definitely a tribe, and it does take a village to raise a child. Whether you’re a first time mom, or this is your first mother’s day without your mom, I wish you love and many blessings, and lots of laughter. Enjoy the moment, and I hope someone spoils you on Sunday.

And tell us, what does Mother’s Day mean to you? How will you be celebrating on Sunday? What are YOUR memories of your mother? Today is a day to celebrate women. Honor your mom by telling us what she means to you.

xoxEDxox

Other articles you might enjoy:

• A Mother’s Day Tribute
• A Mother’s Day Tribute

This is my boy. He is good and sick. I am getting on a plane in 24 hours to fly to Saskatchewan for a keynote speaking engagement. It’s bad enough that I’m missing his parent teacher interviews for the first time ever (hubby is going without me). Now this. I feel like the worst mother on the planet leaving.

So, today, instead of providing strength to my community, I will be needing strength FROM my community.

Send hugs, coffee and a speedy recovery.

And wishes for no puke- I’m not good with the puke.

Signed,

Guilty Mom

Other articles you might enjoy:

• Mommy Wars
• A Working Mom’s Guilt
• Trusting HER Instincts: What Moms Will and Won’t Do For Their Kids
• Mommy Guilt
• Reflections of a Weekend

If you are new to this blog, I was thrilled to announce last year, that I became the Brand Ambassador for Our Generation Dolls.

When I heard about this line for girls, I knew I was the right person to represent this brand and showcase it to my large audience of women and moms who have daughters, nieces, granddaughters and great granddaughters of their own.

A spokesperson for collectible dolls, you might ask? Well, these weren’t just any dolls. They had a unique and inspirational message to share.

Instead of putting it into my own words, I thought the Our Generation Dolls (OG Dolls) story spoke best for itself.

“We are an extraordinary generation of girls. And have we got a story to tell.

Our Generation isn’t just about a doll or a book or even a fantastic miniature tea set. It’s about girls growing up together and creating the narrative of an extraordinary generation. And their parents who understand the pressures of being a girl more than any generation of parents before them.

Our Generation is about girls helping girls who are less fortunate because they want to and because they know they can. It’s about giving girls a voice to create and shape a community they love. About growing up with good self esteem and believing we can change the world.

We girls are a powerful force. We’re helping our families learn to recycle, holding bake sales to support charities, even holding penny drives to build homes for orphaned children in Haiti. We’re helping our little sisters learn to read and even making sure the new kid at school has a place to sit in the cafeteria. We’re writing books to help animal shelters, collecting dresses for girls who would have otherwise gone without and organizing golf tournaments to buy stuffed animals that make chemotherapy a little easier on the kids who have to go through it.

In between all that, we still find time to play hopscotch and hockey. To catch frogs, climb trees, do cartwheels all the way down the block and laugh with our friends until our juice comes out of our noses! You know, to be kids.

Yep. This is our time. This is our story.” – Our Generation

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Check out a few of Our Generation Dolls for your daughters, nieces, granddaughters.

Lily Ann - an ordinary girl AND a horseback rider

Lily Ann packaged - all deluxe dolls come with an educational book too!

Evelyn - We learn how to be "in the limelight" for school plays. Evelyn comes with a book that even includes "12 Tips for Auditioning for a Play"

Gourmet Kitchen Set

And now I’m thrilled to announce that actress and activist Natalie Portman, is also involved on the charity and initiative side of OG Dolls!

For every Our Generation doll, outfit or accessory you buy, 10¢ goes to Free The Children’s Power of a Girl Initiative to help provide girls in developing countries an education––the most powerful tool in the world for escaping poverty.

Academy Award winning actress, Harvard graduate, new mother and now Free The Children Ambassador, Natalie Portman‘s talents are only overshadowed by her passion. Now she’s using both to help create permanent change by bringing education, the key to breaking the cycle of poverty, to girls in Kenya and beyond.

Read more about Natalie collaborating with Free The Children to create an all-girls’ secondary boarding school in Kenya and now, how her inspired lipstick shade is going to provide scholarships for girls to attend.

Disclosure: I’m proud to be a paid OG Dolls Brand Ambassador.

Other articles you might enjoy:

• ANNOUNCEMENT: Erica Diamond Brand Ambassador For Self Esteem Dolls – ‘Our Generation Dolls’
• Today is ‘Pink Shirt Day’ in honor of ‘National Anti-Bullying Day’: Warning Signs and Prevention
• ANNOUNCEMENT: Erica Diamond Brand Ambassador for RetailMeNot.com
• The Liz Lange Interview: Her Maternity Empire, Motherhood, and More
• Teaching Kids About Money

Liz, I’m thrilled to have you, a savvy entrepreneur and mom grace our blog. I don’t think Liz Lange Maternity needs much introduction– most of our mom readers know this well-known, fantastic brand. I loved my Liz Lange Maternity clothes when I was pregnant- comfort, style, affordability. Please tell us the story of how Liz Lange Maternity was born.

I never intended to be a fashion designer or an entrepreneur. I graduated from Brown with a BA in Comparative Literature. And after working at Vogue for a few years, I left to go work for a struggling fashion designer whose work I admired. While there, and in my 20s, my friends started to get pregnant (I myself was not pregnant, but I was newly married and it was that time in my life.) They all had the same complaint– that they couldn’t find anything that they liked to wear while pregnant (This was 1996 – maternity apparel landscape was very, very different!)

I noticed 2 things that led to my aha moment: my friends were spending (they had no choice, nothing in their closets fit!)  So I knew that pregnant women were definitely spending on their maternity wardrobes, and they were spending on items they didn’t like. And two, that they looked much better when squeezed into a stretch tight non-maternity outfit than in an oversized traditional maternity outfit. So I thought, “I get it, maternity clothing needs to be fitted and stretchy and women will buy it because they will like it and they will actually look great.”

Believe it or not, stretch fabric was new to the market place in the mid 90s, so my idea was to create a line based entirely on stretch fabrics. Today we take it for granted that everything from our jeans to our jackets stretches, but back then only sweaters and tee shirts stretched.

Liz Lange Maternity

I didn’t consider myself a designer, so I excitedly told the fashion designer I was working for at the time, that I had the idea that would save his business. He didn’t get it (actually no one did, because maternity clothing as fashion wasn’t even a category back then.) I couldn’t get the idea out of my mind and finally realized that I had to do it. I left and started a tiny made-to-order business mostly for friend.  But word spread quickly, and the business grew beyond my wildest dreams.

Liz Lange Maternity

Liz Lange Maternity

Was it something you knew early on would take off? What pitfalls did you encounter along the way. What were the challenges and how did you overcome them? And for a woman thinking of starting her own business, what would be some advice you would give her?

I did believe it was a good idea but no, I never expected that one day I would have Liz Lange flagship stores on Madison Avenue, in Beverly Hills and in Long Island. Or that I would dress every pregnant celebrity or that I would partner with Nike to make Liz Lange for Swoosh maternity athletic apparel and then partner with Target (Liz Lange for Target is and has been the exclusive maternity offerings at every Target location and Target.com for the past decade.)

But of course there were challenges along the way. The greatest was just having the courage to start my own business! What I now know that I didn’t know then, was that before someone does something new, no one ever thinks it’s a good idea. You need to have the strength to shut out the naysayers, and proceed with your idea in the face of a lot of negativity. That is just the plight of the entrepreneur since you are seeing the invisible. The other challenge is that the negative forces are not just external. As women, we seem hardwired sometimes to doubt ourselves and be overly critical of ourselves. You need to be your own best friend and cheerleader. Seek out advice.

Before I started Liz Lange Maternity, I reached out to anyone and everyone whom I could think of that I thought could be helpful in any way. I offered to come to their office, take them to coffee, lunch, dinner, whatever just for the chance to pick their brains. Don’t be shy, people are for the most part happy to help. I know that I am always thrilled if I can offer advice to a new entrepreneur in the making.

Get the word out about your new business. This is not the time to be shy or extravagant. You can’t afford a marketing person/Publicity agent at the beginning. You need to call the magazines, editors, writers, etc. to try to get press on what you are doing (no one can tell your story more compellingly than you can), and with social media today, there is no excuse not to be out there shouting about your new company from the rooftops!

Many mompreneurs wrestle with the decision of partner, or no partner. The idea of having another person to share the rewards with, but also the burdens with, can be very helpful. Do you suggest women should find a partner when starting their own business?

To have a partner or not to have one is an extremely personal decision. I decided to go it alone as I felt the idea was mine and I wanted full ownership and control. That said, the RIGHT partner, someone who has a skill set complementary to yours can be fantastic.

What were some of the highs and fun moments in your life and career? What were some of those highlights and the moments where you really got to enjoy your success?

Personally, of course the birth of my son (now 13) and my daughter (now 11) were the happiest days of my life. I have loved every second of being an entrepreneur. Steve Jobs once said “There is no greater rush than being in the small boat. You feel every wave and every bump, and you can change course on a dime.” I have loved feeling every bump.

I guess some of my favorite moments in no particular order, were the first write up about my new business, which was in the NY Times when I was still just making clothing to order out of a closet sized office. And when Nike called and said they wanted to partner with me on a line of maternity athletic apparel. And then when Target asked me to be their maternity design partner. Of course opening my first flagship boutique in my hometown of NYC on our most famous shopping street, Madison Avenue was incredible. And doing the first ever maternity fashion show at Bryant Park during NY’s fashion week back in 2001 was a real high. Doing the Oprah show as amazing. And then having offers to sell my brand and ultimately selling it in 2007 felt like a big accomplishment.

Liz Lange on The Oprah Show

How do you balance career and womanhood? Any tricks you care to share with our readers on how to manage the juggle?

I am always juggling and it is never easy. I try to prioritize and be as present as I can be, wherever I am. So if I’m with my children, I try to really be with them (and not on my blackberry or thinking about work) and when I am at work, I try to just focus on that.

Believe me, I am often on my Blackberry when I shouldn’t be, or dashing out of a meeting late to pick up the kids somewhere. My best time saving trick is to plan what I am going to wear to work the evening before (kind of like how we lay out our kids’ clothes to avoid stress in the morning.) I also try and keep my top beauty products out on my bathroom vanity so that everything is in sight, and very streamlined.

I know I wrestled with the right moment to sell my company. When did you know? How did you know? Was there a defining moment?

Selling a business is a bit like starting a business– I am not sure that you will ever feel that the time is right! You just have to follow your gut and do what feels right. For me, it was getting an offer that made sense to me at the time, and that would allow me to monetize the success of the brand. I also felt that my children were getting older and I wanted to be able to spend more time with them. These decisions are so personal.

Selling a business is very bittersweet. At least for me it was. The business was my baby (actually my first baby as I started it before my children were born.) I can’t imagine not being involved with it, so although I sold it, I stayed on, and remain the face of the brand and the Creative Director.

Tell us about your latest venture Shopafrolic.com. Do you ever stop creating, Liz?

One of the nice things about selling my business, was that it did free up some of my time and allow me to pursue some other creative ventures. Working with my talented, beautiful and chic sister had always been a dream of mine and now I could. Together we started a fun shopping e-newsletter called Shopafrolic.com.

Each day, we email a clothing, accessory or beauty item that we love and we do a ‘she said, she said’ on how to wear it, why we like it, etc… We link to where you can buy it and we often do a “separated at worth,” where we pair the item with one that looks just like it but is either much more or much less expensive.

I also started my first ever NON maternity clothing line, Completely Me by Liz Lange, which I sell exclusively on air and online at the Home Shopping Network, HSN.com.

I love to ask my interviewees.. What are the top 3 things on your Bucket List?

Hmm, bucket list, so much I still want to do!

1. Travel as much as possible with my children, I want them to see everything! I am a ‘life is a buffet’ type person.

2. Write a book about my story and entrepreneurism in general.

3. Start a jewelry line. I LOVE jewelry…

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I would love to know your thoughts. Isn’t Liz a dynamo? I think she also gave us some sage advice on business startup. Feel free to leave Liz a comment or question… she’ll be reading!

Have a wonderful weekend, my friends.

xoxEDxox 

Other articles you might enjoy:

• Making Your Passion Your Paycheck
• The New Moonlighting – Starting Your Own Company While Keeping Your Day Job
• Being A MOMpreneur Is Big Business
• ANNOUNCEMENT: Erica Diamond Brand Ambassador for RetailMeNot.com
• The Disillusionment of an Entrepreneur

By Guest Blogger Jon Gordon

There once was a tree that produced an abundant supply of fruit.
Everyone marveled at its ability to produce a record harvest each year.
The owner who sold his fruit at the local market had become one of the wealthiest men in town and he was the envy of all who knew him.

However, as the years passed the owner spent so much of his time counting and selling his fruit that he forgot to nourish the root.
He became so prideful and focused on results that he neglected to see the signs that the tree was dying.
Then one day when the owner went to pick fruit from his tree he was shocked to discover that the tree was barren.
“How could this be,” he asked?
But when he inspected the root he found his answer.
The root had dried up.

He was so focused on the fruit that he neglected the root.
He wished there was something he could do but it was too late.
It was a lesson he would never forget.

How about you? Do you focus on the numbers, the outcomes and the fruit? Or do you focus on the purpose, people, innovation, culture and root of your success.

Always remember the amount of fruit we produce is just an outcome and measurement of how well we are nurturing our root.
If we take care of our root we’ll always have an abundant supply of fruit.
Ignore the root and say goodbye to the fruit.

What is the root of your success? What do the root and fruit mean to you? Has this made you reassess your priorities in any way? Share your thoughts below.

-Jon

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About Jon Gordon:

Jon is the Wall Street Journal and international bestselling author of a number of books including The Energy Bus: 10 Rules to Fuel Your Life, Work and Team with Positive Energy, and his latest, The Seed: Finding Purpose and Happiness in Life and Work. Learn more at www.JonGordon.com. Follow Jon on Twitter @JonGordon11 or Facebook www.facebook.com/jongordonpage.

This is Jon’s second blog post on WomenOnTheFence.com. To read his first, click here.

Other articles you might enjoy:

• 23 Secrets To Improve Your Life
• “Wordy” Wednesday: Game Changing
• Wisdom Wednesday: A Little Bit Of Inspiration
• Failing Forward
• Remembering Randy Pausch

Today, my mommy blogger hat is on. As you are reading this blog, I am in the car en-route to Hull, Quebec, a small town 2-hours west of Montreal, population 116,000. Why, you might ask? Well, if you follow this blog, you know that hockey is a BIG part of our life. And, I’m proud to tell you that last weekend, my son’s team won the Coupe de Montreal (Montreal Cup). It was a pretty big deal, and very exciting. And now, we are off to the regionals. Somebody hold me.

To give you the whole picture, here are some memories of last weekend. Might I also add, We Are The Champions was blaring as the team skated around with the cup, and well, I cried of course. You know me. It’s one of those shining moments where you’re just proud of your kid, and it kinda pours outta you.

The Champions

Elated holding the cup

After they won, one of the parents popped open a bottle of apple cider in the locker room, and the kids chugged it down in plastic wine glasses. It was quite the sight. So now that we’ve won the city championship, we’re off to compete for the provincial championship. And the timing couldn’t be WORSE. It is our Passover seder tonight and tomorrow night, and the kids have been preparing for it in school for weeks.

But back to the road trip… we have a game today at 11 am, a game tomorrow morning at 8 am (which involves an overnight stay for the boys in Hull tonight), and if we win tomorrow morning, we have another game on Sunday at 8 am. Which means, I celebrate my  37th birthday tomorrow night, alone. Yes, if my son and husband have their wish, I will be blowing out candles tomorrow night on a flour-less Passover cake, and then they will be off like the wind. What is it they say about motherhood again– it’s the ultimate sacrifice?

So, as I celebrate my 37th birthday tomorrow, possibly alone, I am instantly brought back to my younger days.  You know, the days when it was all about YOU? Partying, friends, school, no sense of real responsibility, grabbing life by the balls and chasing it with reckless abandon? It was wonderful, and it was fun. Hell, I did ecstasy in Ibiza, Spain at a foam party (Google that if you don’t know what it is) and then rode on a motorcycle with strangers afterward. Then puked after that, then danced at an after-hours rave party ’till 7am. What the HELL was I thinking?!? Yes, those were the days. How time has flown by. And sometimes I miss those days, but I wouldn’t trade them for what came after I wasn’t “too posh to push.”

From this moment on, my life became complete, even if it was complete with spit-up and sleepless nights.

So as I take it easy next week with the kids while they’re off for Passover, I am reminded that ambition is important. Chasing your dreams is even more important. But making memories, is the most important. Life as a mom is never in full balance. The stars never fully align. All we can do, on any given day, is simply our best, and leave the rest up to wine.

Happy Easter. Happy Passover.

Wish us luck in Hull this weekend. Go Cougars! 

xoxEDxox

Other articles you might enjoy:

• The Liz Lange Interview: Her Maternity Empire, Motherhood, and More
• Hangovers N’ Hockey
• Wisdom Wednesday: When You Thought I Wasn’t Looking
• Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish
• The Trick of Boundaries and Rules with our Daughters