By Guest Blogger Jon Gordon

There once was a tree that produced an abundant supply of fruit.
Everyone marveled at its ability to produce a record harvest each year.
The owner who sold his fruit at the local market had become one of the wealthiest men in town and he was the envy of all who knew him.

However, as the years passed the owner spent so much of his time counting and selling his fruit that he forgot to nourish the root.
He became so prideful and focused on results that he neglected to see the signs that the tree was dying.
Then one day when the owner went to pick fruit from his tree he was shocked to discover that the tree was barren.
“How could this be,” he asked?
But when he inspected the root he found his answer.
The root had dried up.

He was so focused on the fruit that he neglected the root.
He wished there was something he could do but it was too late.
It was a lesson he would never forget.

How about you? Do you focus on the numbers, the outcomes and the fruit? Or do you focus on the purpose, people, innovation, culture and root of your success.

Always remember the amount of fruit we produce is just an outcome and measurement of how well we are nurturing our root.
If we take care of our root we’ll always have an abundant supply of fruit.
Ignore the root and say goodbye to the fruit.

What is the root of your success? What do the root and fruit mean to you? Has this made you reassess your priorities in any way? Share your thoughts below.

-Jon

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About Jon Gordon:

Jon is the Wall Street Journal and international bestselling author of a number of books including The Energy Bus: 10 Rules to Fuel Your Life, Work and Team with Positive Energy, and his latest, The Seed: Finding Purpose and Happiness in Life and Work. Learn more at www.JonGordon.com. Follow Jon on Twitter @JonGordon11 or Facebook www.facebook.com/jongordonpage.

This is Jon’s second blog post on WomenOnTheFence.com. To read his first, click here.

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• 23 Secrets To Improve Your Life
• “Wordy” Wednesday: Game Changing
• Wisdom Wednesday: A Little Bit Of Inspiration
• Failing Forward
• Remembering Randy Pausch

By Guest Blogger Bronnie Ware

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.

People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learned never to underestimate someone’s capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal.

Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me

This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people have had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honor at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard

This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends

Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.  It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, and choose honestly. Choose happiness.

Keep smiling & have a wonderful life.

~Bronnie

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About Bronnie Ware

Bronnie Ware is an inspiring and creative soul from Australia.

Through her work Bronnie weaves delightful tales of real life observations and experience. Bronnie celebrates both the strength and vulnerability of human nature. Her message is a positive and inspiring one.

As well as performing her own songs, Bronnie runs an online personal growth and songwriting course, writes a well-loved blog called Inspiration and Chai, including articles that have been translated into several languages, and is the author of the full-length memoir, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying – A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing, recently released worldwide.

You can visit Bronnie online at www.BronnieWare.com

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What are your thoughts? Has this post made you reflect upon how you are living your own life? Has it made you want to make changes going forward?

xoxEDxox

Other articles you might enjoy:

• Do You Live For Today?
• What If This Birthday Was Your Last?

In case you didn’t know, blogging can be quite isolating. If I’m not traveling for speaking engagements (where thankfully I actually INTERACT with other human beings), or at events, at the radio station, or coaching, I’m literally alone. Alone at home, or alone with my computer at Starbucks. Writing can sometimes be a lonely life.  There’s no flagship location where all the bloggers can come, and work together. We are virtual, online friends separated by city, state, province, country, and continent. And with the exception of a few incredible blogging conferences, I just don’t get to see these amazing women often enough. I’ve been at this new gig for two years now, and I can honestly say, I am right where I was meant to be. I am in the flow. I am in the groove. I have unlocked the PASSION badge at Foursquare (if you’re a social media maven, that would make sense to you).

So to honor these relationships, a great blogging contemporary of mine Vera Sweeney named today as NATIONAL HUG A BLOGGER DAY. It’s the day where you hug a blogger (yes, my kids hugged me this morning), and where we bloggers virtually hug all our blogging friends, and post pictures of ourselves, with them, hugging (or not).

I ain’t gonna ramble. I’m just going to say, that when I started this blogging thing on September 11, 2009, I had 3 readers– my mother, my father, my husband. And when I clicked ‘publish’ on that very first post titled Hello World… I Finally Did It (on a FREE WordPress platform to boot), I knew I was home.

I am thankful to the bloggers below, who have helped me along in my journey, who I consider real friends, and who are just a FAB bunch of people.

I love you. Sniff sniff.

Here they are, in no particular order.

–

Me and Audrey McClellan, fabulous gal and fashion blogger at Mom 2.0 Summit.

Me and pioneer mommy blogger, Heather Armstrong, AKA @Dooce

Me and the divine vlogger and TV show creator Kimberley Blaine hangin’ out at Mom 2.0 Summit

Me and one amazing mom and friend, Whitney Wingerd at Mom 2.0 Summit in New Orleans

Having fun with the funny Susan Kay Wyatt at Mom 2.0 Summit

More partying with bloggers Susan Kay, Whitney of RookieMoms.com and Kimberley, Mom 2.0 Summit

Filming Mommy To Mommy TV in LA with Kimberley Blaine on CBS’s set of Rules of Engagement

Still filming.

On the Sony lot, shooting our episode.  2 Bloggers – yahoo!

Me, Kimberley, and hysterical blogger Mama Kat in LA shooting.

More filming

We just finished shooting for the day, and we were celebrating with a little drink.

Backstage At Dancing With The Stars to see mommy blogger and friend, Brooke Burke.

Me and GMA Correspondent and blogger Tory Johnson– after I spoke at her Spark N Hustle Conference in Boston

Me with author and blogger, and one of my favorite people to read, Martha Beck, at the Oprah Conference.

Me and the AMAZING mompreneur and blogger Candace Alper in NYC

Another great shot on the streets of New York.

A shot of simply FANTASTIC BLOGGERS: From left: moi, Candace Alper, Eric Alper, Alison Kramer, Michelle Davies, Jen Taylor, and Loukia.

At Blogher in New York, From left: The brilliant Tech Mama herself, Beth Blechman, Kimberley Blaine, me, Mr. Unmarketing Scott Stratten, and the lovable and huggable Jeff Pulver.

In NYC, still at Blogher, my twin, my doppleganger and someone I respect, Mom101, Liz Gumbinner

More partying in New York with Beth and Kim

A New York City dinner I won’t forget, with 2 fab moms Yummy Mummy Club founder Erica Ehm and Alison Kramer.

Hello y’all! In Nashville for Fashion Week with some great ladies and bloggers, from left: Valerie Rowekamp, me, Whitney Wingerd, Jo-Lynne Shane, and Jamie Reeves

Me and Valerie

Bloggers blogging at the airport. Yes, cuz that’s how we roll. I’m on my blackberry AND computer. Yup.

And finally, one of my oldest friends, is a new blogger, and I couldn’t leave her out. Instead, here’s a picture of us at about 7 or 8 years old, the hysterical and lovable Liana Wiener.

So, if you’re a blogger, and you liked what I did, you can do it too!

Here’s how:

• Post a picture(s) of you hugging (or not) a fellow blogger(s) on your site.
• Explain why you love that person (sorry, I had too many pics to explain it all).
• Add the link to the linky.

And finally, because you know that the goal of this blog, in every post, is to somehow inspire you, guide you off the fence in any area of your life, let me remind you something quick.

Amen to that.

Happy Monday readers!

xoxEDxox

Other articles you might enjoy:

• Los Angeles and Being Back On The Fence
• Anissa’s Story
• The Over OVER-Programming of our Kids
• International Women’s Day
• A Weekend With Oprah – Living My Best Life

So, I finally did it. I attended my first “Tweet Up!” What is a Tweet Up, you might ask? A Tweet Up is when the people you have connected with on Twitter, actually MEET UP! Like, in real life.

Who knew that in my backyard of Montreal, lived such incredible, dynamic and lovely women. We met last night at 5:30 for drinks.  But drinks turned into dinner, and before you knew it, we were a group of about 10 women, chatting for hours. About everything.

Again, when things like this happen, I thank my dad for teaching me to always remain open in life. To always learn from the people you meet. And to always, think outside the box.

The Girls

Mingling at the beginning

Some close-ups

Shiny Happy People Laughing... Me? Not so sure...

Cheers!

The only one WITHOUT a fortune

Follow these girls – they are absolutely divine!

@Kiboomu
@Marcome
@LittleAnimation
@MtlFamilies
@MilasPage
@DotAndLil
@RosieEmery
@KathyM425

And you too Tara Hunt @MissRogue, it was short, but oh so sweet.

Thank you to whoever organized this. I’m looking forward to the next time.

Finally, can someone please tell me, is it a bad omen to get a fortune cookie WITHOUT a fortune inside? I’m a little disturbed.

Happy Wednesday ladies!

xoxEDxox

Other articles you might enjoy:

• “Wordy” Wednesday: Game Changing
• Wordless Wednesday: ®
• Wordless Wednesday: Definitely Wordless
• Wordless Wednesday: Giving Back
• Wordless Wednesday: Writer’s Block

No Wordless Wednesday today. No Wisdom Wednesday today. Instead, let’s laugh together, shall we?

Two little old ladies, Dorace & Jackie were sitting on a park bench outside the local town hall where a flower show was in progress.

The short one, Jackie leaned over and said, “Life is so boring. We never have any fun any more. For $10.00 I’d take my clothes off and streak through that stupid, boring flower show!”

“You’re on!” said Dorace, holding up a $10.00 note.

So Jackie slowly fumbled her way out of her clothes and, completely naked, streaked (as fast as an old lady can) through the front door of the flower show.

Waiting outside, her friend soon heard a huge commotion inside the hall, followed by loud applause and shrill whistling.

Finally, the smiling Jackie came through the exit door surrounded by a cheering, clapping crowd.

“What happened?” asked her waiting friend.

“I won $1,000 as 1st prize for ‘Best Dried Arrangement… !”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THE “OFF THE FENCE” LESSON TO BE LEARNED TODAY: Go easy on life. It’s not to be taken seriously, 100% of the time.

Life is short! Break the rules!
Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly!
Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably.

And never regret anything that made you smile.

Happy Hump Day Ladies,

xoxEDxox

Other articles you might enjoy:

• Priceless Wednesday
• Wisdom Wednesday
• “Wordy” Wednesday: Game Changing
• Wisdom Wednesday: A Little Bit Of Inspiration
• Wordless Wednesday: ®

I can count on five hands, NOT fingers, how many friends I have. Yes, I thankfully have a lot of nice friends, and they run in many different circles. So much so, that when it’s my birthday, we’re either a ton of people, or I opt to do absolutely nothing, since I never know where or whom to cut.

I have friends that we socialize with as married couples, I have friends separate from my husband, I have divorced friends, unmarried friends, all sorts of girlfriends. I always have, and I know where it stems from.  I grew up an only child, and always compensated for that sibling loneliness by surrounding myself with a lot of friends.

However, with all these incredible women in my life, I can only count on ONE hand, my truest of the true friends. Friends I could call at 3am if I were in real trouble, and they would give me the shirt off their back, the food from their mouth, the shoes on their feet.

I realized as I got older, it isn’t about the quantity, but rather the quality that counts.  It’s about who you’ve grown up with, and therefore share a deep connection with, but it’s equally about newer friends as well. It’s the whole package that enriches your life. It’s friends for a reason and a season, as I once blogged about. Friends you grow up with, friends you meet along the way through your kids, friends you meet online and then happen to meet in-real-life and love, friends you meet through carpool, or soccer practice, and then even strangers.

I had an incredible thing happen to me last week. Well, it didn’t really start off incredible, but the ending made me appreciative of one of my character traits… I’m simply always open. No matter what I believe to be true, I still live like a sponge, soaking up knowledge wherever possible.

Last week, my husband and I were scheduled to have a date night. The kids were sleeping out at my in-laws. We didn’t have to relieve a babysitter at the end of the night. We could sleep in the next morning. What a treat.

My hubby told me during the day he was going to be home from the office at 6:30PM, and then we would go. But then he called me at 6PM to tell me that his men were working late and he’d only be home around 7:30PM. If you know me and date night, you know I like to be AT dinner by 7PM, home by 9:15PM latest. The perfect night for someone who prefers to go to bed early, and wake up early. The perfect loser indeed.

Okay fine. 7:30PM dinner was still doable. I was all ready, and then got another call. “I can’t leave yet now either, I’m so sorry. Will you drive to my office (twenty minutes away), and we’ll go somewhere around here?” Now there’s one thing I don’t get about wives who complain about their husbands… If he’s out screwing around, or out every night gallivanting, that’s one thing.  But If he’s working to support our family, I have never, nor would I ever give him a hard time. I wasn’t happy about it, but complain to him I wouldn’t. That’s just cutting the hand that feeds you, no? It’s just not right.

So, being the supportive wife that I am, I agreed to drive to meet him, have my glass of wine and dinner near his office, and that would be a fine date night. I’m fifteen minutes into my drive and literally getting off at the exit, and my phone rings again, “Honey, did you leave yet? I’m not sure I can come. I still wanna wait it out a little. Maybe we should do it tomorrow.” Frustrated, I replied, “No. I’m here!”

I was starving and wasn’t going to turn around and drive back the twenty minutes. I had nothing prepared for dinner at this point either. He’ll show up for sure.  So, I went to the restaurant, and asked for a table for two. The restaurant was full. There was nothing available. They only had seats at the bar. I said yes, sat down, and waited for my husband. I was the only person there except for one man sitting next to me.

Then, another call, “It’s not happening. I just can’t leave.” There I was, alone, on my date night. Stood up. I started to cry. I just felt the craziness from the week had all been too much. The waitress asked me if she could do anything. I told her no. And if that wasn’t enough, the man sitting next to me, started hitting on me.  I kept giving him one-word answers, but we wasn’t taking the bloody hint.

Then, yay, two ladies walk in and sit down next to me at the bar. At this point, I’m drinking my Cabernet, sobbing into my arugula salad, and they smile at me. They ask me if I am okay. “I’ve been stood up by my working husband, and this guy next to me is giving me the creeps,” I replied. One of the ladies gives me a big smile, and says, “Well you’re with us now, girlfriend.”

And just like that, the three of us talked for an hour. We were like old friends. Talking about life, and children, and career, and sharing stories. One open woman, to the next. My husband called a few times and asked if I was okay. I told him I was just fine. One of the two ladies had just left her son’s high school graduation, and showed me the photos. “He’s out celebrating with his friends now. He doesn’t want his mom anymore,” she laughed.  And when I was done, I ordered my husband a pizza, the waitress told me my meal was taken care of  (hubby had phoned in his visa), and I drove around the corner to his office and brought him his dinner.

So why a whole long and drawn out story about meeting strangers and becoming friends? To remind you again, that friends come into your life for a reason and a season. To remind you about the importance of resilience. Maybe these women sat next to me as a distraction or to cheer me up, or maybe they were there as a sign to show me that I am stronger than I think.

But I sort of think the old saying goes in this case, “If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.”

What do you think? Do you have friends for a reason and a season? Are you still in touch with old friends? Have you ever turned a disappointing situation into something positive?  I’d love to hear from you.

xoxEDxox

Other articles you might enjoy:

• Friendships
• National Girlfriends, Aunties, Mommies, Grandmas, Daughters, & Sisters Week
• Reflections of a Weekend
• The Art of Giving – OF Yourself, and TO Yourself
• Taking The Road Less Traveled

You truly are like my second family. Hoping for another 36 good ones!

xoxEDxox

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