Better Sex Tips for the Modern Woman

June 21, 2013 13 Comments TAGS: Sex & Sexuality


By Guest Blogger Frances Denzel

I’ve always been on the unofficial search for better sex tips. In my early 20’s, my social circle consisted of really good looking beefy men who had lusty arms so sculpted, they could protect a lady from any danger. Hormones were raging all around, and booty calls between friends happened… in a no-strings-attached college kind of way.


Despite having had my share of erotic bedroom encounters, it just seemed like there was a disconnect with sexual pleasure. Sex was good, but it was never “mind-blowing.” I would always read newsstand magazines and file away their sex tips in my mind like “take a bubble bath first” and “nibble on his ears and nipples.” Personally, taking a bath made me feel sleepy, and licking ears sounded funny, a slopping and suckling sound right in the face. Not very erotic, in my opinion.

Then one day I decided I would give sex toys a try. My girlfriends had been talking about them, and so I grew curious. I purchased several vibrators over time, and even grew my personal collection. Don’t judge. 😉 One day I bought one called The Rabbit Vibrator, and what happened next was quite surprising – I enjoyed the feeling of my vibrator more than sex.

It dawned on me that I felt a stronger orgasm from the vibrator than I did from a man’s penis. I really wanted to capture the essence of this clitoral vibrator-induced orgasm into the bedroom with my man, and not just with a battery operated device. Being the clever girl that I am, I analyzed what I loved so much about my experience with my vibrator and discovered TWO SECRETS to having better orgasms with a human (instead of just a machine):

1. Clitoral Stimulation – The Root To All Things Pleasurable

Clitoral vibration was the best part of the vibrator. We already know clitoral touching is a big part of foreplay and usually the first place a man reaches when he wants to turn you on. The clitoris is a button like the on/off switch, but I think it’s also the volume switch. Turn it on during the best part of the song, and it amplifies everything.


Bullet vibrators are mostly for the modest woman who enjoys a good orgasm, but perhaps are too inhibited to insert a vibrator – or so I thought. I looked at this tiny sex toy in an entirely new light when I used it during sex. If you hold the bullet to your clitoris during lovemaking, you will like how that feels!

So now let’s talk position, ladies. Many positions work very well– laying on the bed with the man standing on the floor is my favorite position. Everything is exposed allowing you to place the bullet where you want and firmly hold it in place.

Ask him to start very slowly as you work your way up, then tell him to go faster – BAM! The feeling is incredible, the power of the clitoral vibration combined with the muscle clenching orgasm is perfect. Add in your partner’s thrusting, and it’s a hot blooded passionate ride you’ll never forget. – I promise!


2. Orgasm BEFORE Sex

One night I discovered something while in the shower. I brought my aforementioned best friend into the shower with me and experienced an enjoyable orgasm. After the orgasm, I noticed that everything seemed “heightened.” Coming off an orgasm, my body was already in the moment, ready and waiting to go with my man. Every movement felt amplified thereafter.

I noticed how much better sex feels AFTER an orgasm. I would describe it as sensitive and passionate. I discovered that AFTER orgasm is a perfect time to be caressed, and loved, and playing a slow jam sexy tune in the background, moving with the slow beat, made me feel like a goddess in a music video.

I’m the type of woman who loves to fantasize… but I will save that story for another contribution. Stay tuned and thank you for reading. I hope you you’ve been inspired to get off the fence and dive deep into your sexuality, and give my tips a try. Hot sex between two loving partners is a beautiful thing.


About Frances Denzel


Frances Denzel is a thirty something author helping to promote a healthy sex life through her own personal experiences. Her main goal is to inspire women & men to explore erotic pleasures together by trying new things. She writes columns for and other online publications always with an educational approach topped with a sprinkle of fun.

Well girls, I don’t know what to say. I admit, I almost cringed at parts. But sex is a natural part of life, and if you can draw any tips or inspiration to incorporate into your own relationship, well, that’s the goal. I think we’ve still remained true to our slogan, REAL INSPIRATION FOR THE MODERN WOMAN! 😉 I’d love your feedback– good bad or ugly. As always, you can comment anonymously. Have you, or would you try any of these sex tips? Spill the beans!



    1. ?????No Gravatar says:

      Often men will opt for a hat to keep the sun out of their eyes and this is normally a peaked cap or brimmed hat..

    2. Anonymous says:

      Love the article…nice change and thanks for keeping it real Erica

    3. […] Better Sex Tips: […]

    4. lauriNo Gravatar says:

      Good tips thanks. Im reading how to Make Love All Night and drive a woman wild!: pastebin. com/SCb8fJuF

    5. allisonNo Gravatar says:

      No cringing, no gasping. For heaven’s sake, we are all sexual creatures– men and women, women and women, men and men (you get the idea). I think we would all feel a lot better if we had more sex and more enjoyably. There’s got to be healthy a middle ground between slut and prude. How about the Modern Woman? Thanks for being frank, honest and open, Frances, and thanks to Erica for sharing this. oh, and that lying-on-the-bed-while-the-man’s-standing-thing? Love it. 😉

    6. FrancesNo Gravatar says:

      This is great, I am so happy to read these positive comments so far!

      It’s a refreshing relief to see sexual enjoyment come into mainstream. It’s amazing how many movies, TV shows and songs refer to sex (I think many music videos go a little too far, however) but the reality is, sex feels good, why hide that fact?

      There’s nothing shameful about talking about sex with your friends. Personally, I think sharing stories and ideas is very educational. Even if the conversation is “PG rated” everyone seems to learn a tip or two to take home.

      I firmly believe Mother Nature created the clitoris for a reason – to be touched! We would be naive if we lived without ever touching ourselves and denying that it feels good!

      That’s all for now, have a great day everyone! 🙂

    7. JanetNo Gravatar says:

      I didn’t cringe either and actually found it helpful. I don’t get it that people who have sex all the time are too prude to talk about it.

    8. I personally didn’t cringe one time but maybe because I have come to think of your blog posts like having a conversation with a good girlfriend. And in my close knit circle of friends, we talk about these topics!! Besides, many women are too shy to broach the subject and that’s okay….but this will allow them to receive some good bedroom tips anonymously!!

      Great post, Erica….as always!

      • Suzanne, you made my day. I hope that coming to this site is just that – having a conversation with your best friend, while taking away some tips to improve your life. I hesitated whether or not to publish, but I think we are a new generation of women, more open and appreciate having a safe place to learn. YOur comment meant A LOT.

    9. A woman says:

      Good read. Something to think about indeed!

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