Comments on: Modern Love

By: Laurel

Laurel — Mon, 22 Oct 2012 14:24:29 +0000

With respect to the idea that couples become complacent, routine and ‘boring’, my mother-in-law always says that marriage is what keeps you together until you fall in love with each other all over again.

By: Cathy

Cathy — Fri, 19 Oct 2012 18:52:56 +0000

Great post! I believe that if two people are committed to each other, then their marriage should work. It takes two to tango right?

By: Joyce Halladay

Joyce Halladay — Fri, 19 Oct 2012 13:55:55 +0000

Interesting to read the above comment’s, in particular the young woman’s comment’s about learning from our parent’s mistakes. If, being a big if, I only knew then what I know now! I spent a lot of time wishing for something different, instead of concentrating on doing something with what I had. Oh the thing’s I want to tell you!

I spent 17 year’s in a previous marriage, some of those year’s were really great, in particular the birth of our daughter who will be 15 tomorrow! Huge blessing upon my life. It was my expectation’s and my disappointment’s that took the toll on that marriage. I lost myself to alcoholism, feeling sorry for myself and lamenting what was wrong with my life. There was nothing wrong with my life, I just hadn’t grown enough to understand what I could do to make the changes, within myself to see him differently.

Thank God, I’m not where I used to be! In this 8 year common law relationship, I was headed down the same road. Until I began to understand that it was the expectation’s that were killing it. I’m not perfect and neither is he, but what we do differently now is…wait for it…we have humbled! Yes I said humbled, the things that used to seem so important to argue about, just really aren’t that important anymore. We are not so entrenched in getting what we want anymore. We let go of the b…t and crap that used to get in the way of our connecting.

We are maturing, in our understanding of how limited this life is! I remember every day what it is about him that attracted me to him in the first place! He’s handsome, he’s funny, he’s sexy, he’s talented, he’s shy, he is dedicated, faithful, tender, loving, silly…every day I am in awe of the gift of him in my life. If the laundry doesn’t get done, so what! If the dishes sit in the sink dirty, so what! There is so much more than that that I am grateful for. That I have come to a place where I now know how valuable and precious the relationships in my life are, and that I have the capacity to nurture them.

The initial connection that we make is based on hormones and chemicals, the sustaining component’s of relationship are based on time and shared experiences. It is time for us all to grow up, take responsibility for the relationships in our lives, let go of the expectation’s those are the relationship killer’s and live, live this day, live this moment because this is it, it’s all we get! Blessing’s to all, Joyce

By: Suzanne @ Fit MInded Mom

Suzanne @ Fit MInded Mom — Fri, 19 Oct 2012 13:49:40 +0000

I think that the biggest issue we have is calling it “modern marriage” rather than just what it is, marriage!! People do not commit anymore because they don’t have to. It is now acceptable to leave a marriage simply because you aren’t “happy” anymore. I think we are so focused on ourselves and our own happiness these days that many are not willing to do the hard work and make compromises like past generations.

Do I think someone should stay in an awful marriage just for the sake of commitment? No. But I do think you should exhaust all efforts to become “happy” again and that will not necessarily mean having the same butterflies and crazy sex that was there in the first years of marriage.

I am 34 years old, have been with my husband a total of 17 years, married for 8 and while things have changed drastically in our lives(jobs, moving, 2 kids, ect) we make it work, even when it would be easier not to. I always say same sh*t, different relationship.

By: Susan Houde

Susan Houde — Fri, 19 Oct 2012 13:22:39 +0000

Thank you ladies for your thoughts & comments! I love to hear what YOU have to say. It inspires me to write more articles that proke true feelings, both positive & negative. Let me know if you have any topics you would like to see me cover! Always looking for that spark!

By: Cheryl

Cheryl — Fri, 19 Oct 2012 12:11:33 +0000

Great post and I love how you ended it. We all have weeds that need tending to. The grass isn’t always greener over there.

By: Tivi Jones

Tivi Jones — Fri, 19 Oct 2012 12:09:00 +0000

As someone who is going through a divorce right now, I can honestly say: I’d rather be single than be in something that isn’t extraordinary.

My first marriage didn’t work for many reasons, but I can call my ex and his family cherished friends.

Marriage is work, but you both have to be working towards the same goal – a healthy relationship and life together as partners. Open and honest communication, love, lust and friendship with each other are essential in my book.

And I have to say, this Ashley Madison nonsense is the most disgusting piece of [expletive] I’ve ever seen. Oh, humanity…