By Guest Blogger Karla Luks (written July 2011).
This morning my alarm went off at 6:00 am as it does every morning and I jumped into the shower. Today is different though, I am participating in a charity golf tournament. While I am showering, my brain is racing. I’m thinking about the zillion things that must get done before I leave, like making my sons’ their camp lunches, their breakfast, getting them off to camp, and putting in a load of laundry.
My friend who I am playing golf with today is single. She will probably wake up at 8:00 am as she always does, have her cup of coffee, or two, read the paper, eat her breakfast slowly, and then out the house she will go. I honestly keep the coffee companies in business, as every morning I make my cup of coffee, and then end up having to attend to my kids, so the coffee gets cold and then I make another cup.
What it must be like to only have yourself to take care of….
Before you become a mother, you conceptually understand the idea of motherhood and what it will entail. You realize that it is a 24-hour, labor intensive job, but until that little bundle arrives in your life, you really is essence have no idea of the responsibilities. When you become a mother, you now become the last thing you think about. Your needs become the last to be fulfilled.
As the saying goes. you are only as happy as your saddest child…
Most of the time I am busy running around the city tending to things my children need, be it new clothes, school supplies or taking them to their activities. Some days getting a shower in is hard. Motherhood is a juggling act, and sometimes my mind wanders to my single friend who when she plans her day of work, has only herself to worry about and not trying to juggle work and children. Heck, she can have a bowl of cereal for dinner is she wants! I have to come up with a proper supper for my family every night. She can have a full night’s sleep without any interruptions, in turn making her more well rested. Most of us moms live a sleep-interrupted or sleep-deprived existence. Throw in a career to this whole motherhood mix, and things get extra complicated.
I wonder if only having to take care of oneself makes you a selfish person, or maybe it makes you a person who rarely sweats the small stuff since you do not have to multitask very often? Is it lonely or utter bliss? Do you have the ability to compromise since you so rarely have to? Do you become rigid in your thinking because plans never really change for you, whereas in motherhood, you can plan and plan, but if a child comes down with the flu or decides he or she does not want to do what you planned, guess what? The day changes.
I must say, at times I am envious of my friend whose wishes are met daily usually without a hitch. But at the end of the day, when I get a goodnight hug and kiss from my kids, and we all snuggle, I realize I would not have had it any other way.
I would love to know your thoughts on this matter? Is it that the grass can sometimes be greener on the other side for both parties… the childless and mothers? Do any of you moms ever dream of sometimes having only yourselves to worry about? Is being childless lonely, or utter bliss? Feel free to comment anonymously if you so choose– but this is always a judge-free zone.
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Tags: are women without kids selfish, childless, easier to be motherless and have only yourself to worry about, i don't want to have kids, is being single lonely, is it better to be motherless or a mother, is it better to be single or married, Is The Grass Really Greener On The Other Side, motherhood and children, motherless