You Know You Need A Break When…

December 17, 2010 21 Comments TAGS: Kids, Marriage, Motherhood

Hi ladies! I just got back from an hour walk in the minus 9 degree weather so I feel clear and refreshed. I’ve got a nice hot cup of coffee next to my laptop. It’s Friday, so that’s always nice. And the holidays are just around the corner. So all in all, life’s good.

But shit, this woman feels like she needs a break. And I know it, just from these few things I’ve done over the past 2 weeks. And the other stuff below.

You know you need a break when…

  • You’re 25 minutes late for a meeting because you don’t remember which locker you chose at the gym and have tried the code 45 times on 45 different lockers.
  • You’ve had to press the “panic” button on your car key multiple times in a week because you can’t remember where you parked.
  • You click “Compose email” and completely blank out who it was for.
  • You pick up the phone to call someone and again, who was I calling?
  • Your husband tells you he’s gonna get a mistress if you say you’re too tired for sex one more time.
  • When you hear the sound of your own voice, you don’t recognize the person talking, you’re that wacko.

SOOOOO, I think it’s fair to say, I’m about to lose my mind. And I need some down time. These past few months have been I N S A N E.

Now these may all be funny, haha. But keeping it real, something happened last weekend and it was ugly. And I will start by saying, we can never judge another mother, but really, this wasn’t pretty. My husband was working, and my little one had hockey. I brought my big son to watch my little one play, and he usually hangs with the older sibling friends at the arena. But last weekend, for whatever reason, none of the older siblings showed up.

So, all hell broke loose. He started to pout and throw himself that he was bored and wanted to leave. I of course was trying to dress my little one, while I heard these rumblings from under his breath. The rumblings got louder, and I started to lose it. And so I got louder, “Your brother has come to watch you play hockey for years. He always comes for you with a smile. You’re acting spoiled. I have no one to watch you, so let’s make the best out of the hour here.” But he still kept pushing my buttons and complaining he wanted out of the arena. So while I was sandwiched in between two other parents and kids getting dressed, coupled with his constant badgering, I raised my voice loud this time and said, “So go! I can’t listen to this anymore!” and grabbed his arm, and moved him to the side so I could dress my little one. But he tripped over the hockey bag and fell over. Then he started to cry. I wanted to die.

One parent looked at me like I was Mommy Dearest (and like my kids belonged with social services). Now obviously I would never harm my children, but sometimes, we just lose it.  Has this ever happened to you? And sometimes we need a break. Luckily, my parents showed up just in time. I calmed down, my son calmed down, we all watched my little one play hockey, and everyone regrouped quickly.

But I’m often on the fence with stuff like this. I never know when it’s me, when I need to grow more patience, or when it’s time to stop codling them. Last night, again, another incident. My big one didn’t want to do his homework. So for the first time, I said to him, “No problem sweetie, don’t do it.” He just looked at me, like “Ma, are you serious!?” But really, I was. The old me would have pushed him to do it, so he wouldn’t get into trouble. But new me just said, “Buddy, you know what? You’re 7 years old, Grade 2. If you don’t want to do your homework, you can be the boss of yourself in this department, and if you get into trouble, you will deal with the consequences.”

Then of course, the over-nurturing mother in me took over, and I made sure he actually did it (which in the end, he did on his own).  But I always wrestle with this– when do you help and nurture, and when do you take away their safety net and let them deal with the consequences? It’s a fine balance.

But all in all, I think many of us can relate to the extreme fatigue that sets it around this time of year causing us to sometimes become short-tempered. I’m so looking forward to this holiday season with my precious boys and my wonderful hubby. My baby turns 4 on Monday. Wow…. 3 is a baby, 4 is big. I don’t know where the time has gone. It seems we blink, and then life happens.

So, with the holidays now almost upon us, I urge you, (as I will do too), to seize the moments with your family, take time to regroup, reflect and rethink, and set your goals for 2011. To be in the moment, and appreciate everything you have.

Wishing you all a peaceful weekend. I’ll see you back next week.

And thank you Nitin Jain for naming me on the list of 21 Amazing Women Women Entrepreneurs and to Dr. Shannon Reese for The Woman of Excellence Award. Thank you for acknowledging all the hard work. I’m very grateful I can do what I love, and that it’s inspiring others.

Now tell us, can you relate to needing a break at this time of year? Have you ever just “lost it?” In public of all places??? Please share with our community.

xoxEDxox

    21 Comments

    1. […] past week, I felt my anxiety level mounting, and I felt myself beginning to vent it onto my children. Shame on me, I hear you. But this is my safe place, so no judgement please. Nothing new had […]

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    5. Thank you, I have recently been searching for information about this topic for ages and yours is the best I have discovered so far.

    6. Oh yes! Can I ever relate. We’ve all been there. You’re a great mom and certainly no mommy dearest! It’s just one of those crazy times.

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    8. Mama Kat says:

      Great post Erica! I think a LOT of us can relate to being pushed too far. I think you reacted just as any of us would in a situation where we feel rushed and we have a child pouting…it can be too much. Thanks for reminding us to slow down!

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    10. Brigitte Wells says:

      Oh yes! Can I ever relate. We’ve all been there. You’re a great mom and certainly no mommy dearest! It’s just one of those crazy times.

    11. Calgon Take me Away says:

      Yup, been there done that. I’m with you…it’s time for a break, and well-desreved for all of us moms. It’s a time out on 6:30 alarms, making lunches, carpooling, and helping withd homework. Let’s all relax and recharge our batteries.

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    13. Leslie says:

      This sounds like me. You are not alone nor are you crazy. Nice job on your two awards they’re well deserved. I love your blog.

    14. You described a scenario I live at least once per week. Seriously, parenthood is treacherous at times. I’m with you, reaching out and asking for help works. There’s no ‘one’ answer for all parents when our kids set us over the edge when our patience is running low. I hear ya. The fact that you wrote about it means you’re a mindful parent. That’s what’s most important.

      • Thank you Kim. It means so much especially coming from you, an incredible parenting expert. I do my best, I try my best. I think I’m a good person, but we all have our moments when we feel overwhelmed. Thank you for supporting instead of criticizing. This is why I blog, and tweet and all. Tremendous support everywhere!

        Anyhow, I’m feeling better that I got it off my chest, and women should know they’re not alone in feeling overwhelmed. I’m now eating popcorn with my boys in the kitchen and enjoying our afternoon together (they get out early on Fridays).

        Happy weekend all.

        Erica

    15. A mom says:

      We’ve all been there. Don’t beat yourself down. Happy birthday to your little one too. Also for the record I also stopped closely micromanaging my daughter’s grade 3 homework all the time. I think kids needs to learn some independence.

    16. Claire says:

      Oh and congrats on those two incredible honors. Keep up the great work.

    17. Claire says:

      Hey we can all relate to this. My daughter once threw a tantrum on the floor in the grocery store and I stood there just crying and crying. People looked at us like we were crazy but moms lose it sometimes. I read your blogs and you’re a great mom. I think you just need a break.

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