Expectations and Disappointment in Life

October 22, 2010 16 Comments TAGS: Career, Kids, Marriage, Motherhood

I once read a saying that “Disappointments in life are almost always due to expectations. When you want something, you expect to have it, and if it doesn’t become a reality, you feel disappointed.” I guess that kinda makes sense. All of us over the course of our lives, at some point or another, have been let down or disappointed by someone or something. This week has been our week at our house.

I think by now, if you’ve been following my Blog for long enough, you know my glass is always half full. I’m pretty resilient and fast at getting back on my feet when I feel knocked down. But we are human beings, and after getting a few disappointments in a row, we can start to feel downright yuck.

So first I’ll give you the great news. My book launched on hard copy this week and has been climbing the ranks of Amazon thanks to you my readers, and my friends. You ladies, as well as the media have all been spreading the word, and the feedback has been awesome. SO GRATEFUL. Thank you thank you! Secondly, the proposal and life changing thing I was working on that I told you about, after we submitted it a couple of weeks ago, we heard back in 24 hours that the “big kahunas” are interested, and wanna know more. My agent emailed me while I was on my way to do carpool; “I’m on hold with so-and-so right now. They just called. Don’t shit yourself.” But of course I did! So, we’ve resent more info, and now I’m waiting… Uch, I hate waiting. Patience is not one of my strong suits. Thirdly, everyone is healthy here, thriving in school, and happy. Grateful again.

But, with the excitement came a few disappointments. After 6 weeks of hockey tryouts, my son, who was grouped with the A team for tryouts, got word yesterday he didn’t make the A team. He will be playing Novice B hockey for the year. We woke up yesterday morning to the email, and I saw my husband’s face as he read it… disappointed. I on the other hand felt relieved… better he should be able to have more ice time and feel confident, than never have a chance to touch the puck playing with older and better kids. I felt it was a blessing. And, there’s always next year…

But the hardest thing was telling our precious son, who like his mom, wears his heart on his sleeve. My husband wanted to wait, and I said, “Wait for what? Tell him now.” So we told him, and the tears. Oh the tears! And then he cried quietly to himself with his hands over his eyes. Then mommy’s tears… not because he didn’t make the team, but because who can bear the sight of their own child hurting and in pain? He was crushed. And after I had lunch with a girlfriend of mine whose husband plays in the NHL for our Montreal Canadiens and knows a thing or two about hockey, she so sweetly told me the same thing I was thinking… “He’ll be a star on the B team, get more ice time, and it will feed his ego a little. Nothing wrong with that.”

Okay, so we’ve since gotten over the disappointment of the A team thing.

My hubby and I were also scheduled to leave on a nice little 5-day getaway two weeks ago for our 10 year anniversary. But, as work should have it, my hubby just couldn’t get away from the office in the end, so we canceled the trip. I was pretty bummed. I was so very looking forward to being away with him alone, and when I canceled it, I cried too, just like my little son did. I don’t want to sound spoiled, but I was really looking forward to regrouping in the quiet. Another time.

Sometimes disappointments are hard. When I bombed my GMATs and didn’t get into MBA School, I thought my life was over. And then look…a new path showed itself– entrepreneurship. I never would have started my own business had I not been rejected from MBA School. I know that disappointments and bad things happen to teach us a greater lesson. And although we may not realize it at the time, there’s always something to learn from the let down. They’re like little life-testers — they either break you down or make you better.

Such is the reality of life. We will have highs and lows as we go. We will all get rewarded, we will all get disappointed. The important lesson in all of this, is to not dwell in the disappointment and stay stuck. If it should happen to you, that you get let down by your children, your partner, your boss, your friends, your parents, it will be a time to grow and change. Recognize it and learn the lesson.

In the words of my Oprah… “What is this here to teach me?”

Until next time.

xoxEDxox

I would love to hear your stories of disappointment and how you used them to either move forward or backwards. Please share them with our community.

PS – Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad. 38 Years today! What an incredible couple you are.

    16 Comments

    1. Often disappointments are like coconuts that hit us on the head. If you take the time to examine them there is a reward and a benefit waiting for you to discover. Pina Colada anyone?

      I know that if I learn something very beneficial from my disappointment and turn it into something that improves my life, motivates me and even empowers me I feel a lot better about the situation. I was just reading on another blog where someone said, “It’s only through disappointment that we can find our way to trying harder, digging deeper, paying closer attention to what works in our lives.” That kind of excites me in a strange way. Makes me want to go over all the disappointments in my life, crack them open and get some value out of them.

    2. […] perfect sense. But all of us over the course of our lives, at some point or another, have been let down or disappointed by someone or […]

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    5. […] the fall, I wrote about my son, for the first time this year, not making the A team in hockey. He was DEVASTATED. Why? Because he […]

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    8. Suzanne says:

      Great post. I’d rather be the best B instead of the worst A. There’s always next year too!

    9. Carly says:

      I have Oprah’s saying what is this here to teach me? on my bulletin board next to my computer. its a motto i live by.

    10. a says:

      Great Honnest post! Our kids will only learn from disapointment. They will gain from these lessons.
      I dont like my kids getting everything they want because they should know life does not work that way! They might not make the A team or get into that College because there are brighter more accomplished people out there. Learning these lessons young teaches them to be strong for their whole life!!!

    11. Jessica PritchardNo Gravatar says:

      Very heartfelt. Congradulations on your book. I am a new reader. Hopefully you and your husband will celebrate soon. 10 years married is a nice milestone. It sounds like your son will be just great too. Have a nice weekend.

    12. Anonymous says:

      My son also didn’t make novice a last year and it was the best thing for him.

    13. Jo CarterNo Gravatar says:

      What an honest post. I also think that when bad things happen, they happen to teach us a lesson and we always end up growing from it. It’s hard to see it at the time but 9/10 that ends up being the case. Happy anniversary also to your parents. What a beautiful couple.

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