A Tale of Travel

I know today’s Blog post is not very “On The Fence,” but yesterday was nothing short of a scene out of Bloopers, and a must-share for my Mommy readers. Plus hey, I’m the boss around here, so today, we’re off the fence! Look out for my next post on The Dark Side of Friendship, coming soon. Oooh.

This past weekend, as the end of my vacation drew near, I must admit I was looking forward to coming home and getting back to the regularly scheduled routine. We had an incredible trip and really got to soak in the rays for some time before the Florida freeze hit. The kids had a ball, as did my hubby and I together.

Yesterday we flew home, and amidst some chaos, all I did was laugh the whole way through. That’s because one of my New Year’s resolutions was to not sweat the small stuff too much. My husband was sweating, but not I!  I was taking it all in stride. Our day went something like this…

We awoke early, but that was the easy part (we’re all early risers here). I rushed to pack lunch and snacks for the boys as we were flying during lunchtime. If you fly coach these days, they don’t always serve food, nor sell it, so I was just trying to be a good and prepared mom. We had some leftover plain pizza in the fridge from Saturday, so I packed it to be safe. And then onwards and outwards to the airport we went.

We arrived promptly at the airport and check-in and security went smoothly. I still hadn’t had my first cup of coffee, so I was a little sluggish, but other than that all was cool. My husband watched the boys so I could go to Dunkin Donuts to buy my coffee (by the way, that first sip in the morning is about as close to heaven as it gets for me). I then brought the coffee back to the gate and sat down… ON A BIRD! Yes, there was a cute little avian-flu bird sitting with us at the Florida airport. Gross, no? Here she is, my friend Tweetie.

Haha, very funny. Mummy sat on a bird! What came next, I actually uploaded as my Facebook status, cuz it was just seemed so ridiculous at the time. Despite having already eaten breakfast and a morning snack, my little one was begging me every 5 minutes for the pizza. “No, the pizza is for lunch, and it’s 8:15 in the morning. We don’t eat pizza for breakfast,” I kept answering. But, my little one, god bless him, is as bloody persistent as, um, ME, and I figured, what’s so bad about bread & cheese, even though it’s only 8am? So, I caved, and discreetly handed him the pizza. NO JUDGEMENTS LADIES. I looked around to see if anyone was watching and reporting me to Child Services. Turns out the woman sitting across from me was looking at me in disgust, and then whispered something to her husband. But get this… she was drinking DIET COKE for breakfast! What are you lookin’ at woman?!? Mind your own!

Now the boys started getting quite riled up and were engaging in their usual wrestling match right in the middle of the gate floor. My friends can honestly vouch for the fact that my two sons physically wrestle each other to the ground at least 15 times a day. And if you try to break it up, you could get yourself killed. They play fight in a way that only the two of them understand. The moves are choreographed to perfection. But, at this point, half the airport was watching me fail miserably at physically trying to intervene. I got visibly flustered and desperately asked my husband to break it up. He was typing something on his blackberry, so I walked away and let them duke it out. Yes, I walked over to the magazine stand (obviously keeping an eye on them) and proceeded to buy Ivanka Trump’s new autobiography, all the while leaving them nearby killing each other.

After my husband finally broke up the fight, and the boys were calmly walking back to the seats now holding hands, they tripped over each other and landed on the hard pavement on top of each other. Both crying. Oh lord, help me!!

Alright, we regrouped again and it was almost time to board the plane. My hubby reminded me to give them their decongestant, as they were both finishing up colds. My little one had never taken a decongestant before, and so “bubble gum” flavor was a new exciting treat (he only knew Grape Motrin). He swigged it down like vodka, and all I heard for the next 3 1/2 hours was “I want more bubble gum.”

I have to say, the plane ride was the smoothest part. Usually, one of them barfs, but NO, they were lovely. My big son read. My little one napped. They were great. My little one even chewed gum for the first time, because his ears were killing him from the pressure, and he wouldn’t drink a thing. So, I am proud to say, my three year old swallowed three pieces of gum yesterday. One on the way up. One on the way down. And the third, still on the way down. I kept thinking he understood what it meant to spit the gum in my hand when he was done.  No such luck. He looked at me, with his big blond curls, his big green eyes, and said after the third and final swallow, “I’m finished my gum.” I can’t wait for his next pooh. GUM FROM THE BUM! Hot!

Our wonderful adventure would not have been complete without losing the Nintendo DS pack and every game inside, either at the airport or on the plane (bawling bawling hysterical crying last night), me getting my period amidst it all five days early, and my big son’s first tooth dangling by a thread last night (more bawling bawling hysteria petrified).

It was eventful. Can’t wait for the next family voyage.

Tell us, what are your joys of motherhood? Do you have any frazzling stories of your own?

Until next time Ladies, from freezing Montreal, my wonderful home,

xoxEDxox