Decisions About Someone Else’s Life

So here I am now, sitting at my computer, a complete flubbering mess. This morning, my whole family attended a religious ceremony at my my son’s school (my grade one-er). There we were, all six of us; me, hubby, two grandmothers, two grandfathers, beaming with pride. I was on video camera duty, hubby on regular camera duty. We were all right there, the cheering squad, front row.

And as they called his name to come up and receive his siddur, or Jewish Prayer Book,  I just couldn’t hold it together. He mouthed to me during the show “I KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO CRY!” I can’t help it. I’m sensitive, I’m emotional, I’m a crier. The kids put on a show for over an hour. They were perfect. It was first class. And I wasn’t the only mess by the way. A few other moms also had their Kleenexes out.

So as I pondered today’s Blog post, something about decisions and choices resonated for me. Choices and decisions we make about someone ELSE’S life. Be it a sick parent, a handicapped sibling, a child. Be it a decision a doctor makes for his patient, or a lawyer makes for his client. We often have to make choices and decision for others. How do we make the right choice?

making choices

When my husband and I visited schools for our children, we wrestled with the thought. My husband loves sports. He wanted our children to be exposed to a variety of sports in addition to academics, the kind of varsity brotherhood atmosphere. So we visited those schools. They were both academic and athletic and were clearly great schools. We loved the feeling of the old charming buildings, plus the indoor AND outdoor hockey arenas were pretty much a deal-maker for hubby… I think you know how crazy we are about hockey in this family. And then we visited the top Jewish day schools. And we both looked at each other, and agreed, we couldn’t deny our heritage. It was too important for us. But even after we made our decision, we lay in bed and looked at each other– did we make the right decision? Was it the right choice?

And it clicked today, that while we both had felt the heavy burden of making the right decision for another human being, we had in fact made the right choice . We had no regrets.  With all the decisions that maybe we erred on in the past, this one was the right choice. And it felt great.

So as we light the first Chanukah candle on the menorah tonight, I would like to take this opportunity to wish all my fellow Jewish readers a very Happy Chanukah. And to my fellow non-Jewish readers, a very Merry Christmas. May 2010 bring you all peace, contentment and joy. And I wish us women all the wisdom to make the right choices for ourselves, and our loved ones. Always.

christmas and chanukah

I decided to throw in an oldie of Adam Sandler on SNL about the Joys of Chanukah in honor of day 1. Enjoy… http://wejew.com/media/379/Chanukah_Song/

xoxEDxox

4 Comments
  1. Every time I see my kids performances at their school I too feel great satisfaction and pride with the costly decision to send our kids to private hebrew school. Its a wonderful connection we feel to our kids and our community. We feel confirmation that our kids are learning the basics to being a jewish person in a world filled with antisemitism. We should commend our selves for making that decision for our kids. The world is a big cruel place and as long as our kids really know who they are and where they came from, then they can decide what’s right and wrong when they grow. We all have the need to belong. Happy Hunnukah.

  2. I love that you were able to concur down the road that it had been the right choice. My kids all attended hebrew pre-school (we are a religiously mixed family) and Catholic day school afterward. Aside from being slightly confused at first it worked out well. I think everyone chews their nails about the enormity of the weight on the shoulders of the decision makers. It’s daunting but we try our best and hope we get it right!

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